Category Archives: Brothers

Digging Ditches to Be Happy

13 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by in Battle, Book of Mormon, Brothers, General, Motivation, Patience, Preparation, Strength, Weakness

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A few months ago, I traveled to California with my wife to watch my brother Tyson compete in an Ironman triathlon. It was pretty amazing to see him, along with everyone else, both men and women, swim, bike, and run for 8 or 10 or 12+ hours straight. It was nuts. Imagine getting up early, before the sun is anywhere near up, and wading into a dark river and swimming for about an hour- with no stopping, rest, or lifeguard. Then, instead of dying an anonymous silent death and sinking to the bottom of the murky water, you run to your bike, and hop onto the most uncomfortable bike seat ever designed, and start pedaling- for about 6 hours. Then, after crouching and straining on that bike for the same amount of time as two full length Lord of the Rings movies, and looking more like a crooked old lady with scoliosis, you get to relax by running a full marathon. Its mind boggling.

After witnessing this event, and seeing Tyson do so well. I had a familiar feeling start to swell inside me. It was a familiar feeling that had been silent, dormant, and suppressed for quite a while, but began to fester up just like a long forgotten illness. It was the re-emergence of the “I can’t let my brother beat me” syndrome that I thought I had fully recovered from. Turns out, there really is no cure. You can’t beat it, you can only hope to contain it.

Tyson, from years of competition growing up together, knew just the kind of salt to throw in that freshly opened wound as over the next few days, he “encouraged” me to throw my hat in the triathlon ring. Smarter men, like my other younger brothers Casey and Riley, would have been wise enough to see the end game, and let that “encouragement” go unacknowledged or laugh it off altogether. But, because of my newly reopened competition illness, I fell for it. Both Tyson and I suffer from rather severe strains of this disease.

I had previously enjoyed a stronghold on the long distance running record amongst my brothers with a full marathon, but even that looked pretty pathetic now. I had just been ceremoniously slapped across the cheek with the proverbial gauntlet. And he did it in such a nice way which was even worse.

So, I was done. And, soon after returning home, I signed myself up for a small triathlon, and started training. Running and biking weren’t so bad, having done endurance training before. But, here’s the difference, you can breathe when you run or bike. And I happen to be very fond of breathing. Swimming, however, presented as a whole different set of problems for me.

The first time I hit the pool, I knew it would be tough, but that was an understatement. I never realized just how far 25 meters can be until I tried to swim it. It then got worse as I then turned around, and did it again, and again, and again. It was exhausting. Its kind of like tying a plastic bag over your head, and walking on your hands up a steep hill.

After my first training session in the pool, I didn’t die, but I did I feel nauseous and lightheaded for hours afterwards. And that was only after about a whopping 200 meters with life-saving gasping-for-air breaks after each 25 meters. I was in trouble.

The next 8 weeks were brutal. I was thrown by how slow my progress was. I was used to being able to train regularly for 2-3 weeks while running, and seeing some significant improvements. With swimming, I was able to go a bit further, but it was very slow, slow, slow improvement. I felt I was improving at the pace of the sloth at the DMV in Zootopia.

Swimming was the obvious weak link on my chain. I knew that going in, but that reality soon started to hit me, hard. I started to have serious doubts, not necessarily about my ability to finish the race, but in my ability to actually survive the race. The way I saw it, if I didn’t somehow have arm floaties on, I only stood at about a 50:50 chance of surviving the swim portion. Seriously. I’m not even kidding.

Now, I don’t like to have weaknesses, let alone having very apparent ones, so this was uncharted territory in a sense. I was eating some serious humble pie, like several meals a day strict diet of humble pie. It was frustrating, but I stuck with it.

Now, after almost 12 weeks, I am proud to say that I have confidence that I will not die in 3 weeks when I go for my first little triathlon. It has been a slow go, but I can tell I have made improvements. Thank goodness, because, I don’t want to get lapped by those 87 year old grandmas because I can’t get out of the pool.

This process that I am in the middle of- this process of trying to get rid of my weakness, and possibly even turn it into a strength, is a principle that we are familiar with. Its frequently taught in the Book of Mormon. A few weeks ago, I recognized this principle all over again in a seemingly unrelated story. This time it was embedded in the way the Nephites dug ditches.

In Tyson’s last post, he mentioned that Moroni had prepared the Nephites to fight in the most unfair way possible against the Lamanites. He did it with unprecedented preparation. You can read it HERE. This process employed by Moroni has everything to do with the famous scripture from Ether. In his book, he explains why we have these weaknesses….

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”  (Ether 12:5)

Ether wasn’t necessarily talking about swimming, or even Nephites digging ditches, but the principle applies to both of these scenarios.

We learn all about Moroni’s ditches in Alma chapter 49. It explains how the Nephites rebuilt the city of Ammonihah after it had been destroyed. They rebuilt it and then some. It was obviously regarded as a weak spot for the Nephites….

“Behold, I said that the city of Ammonihah had been rebuilt. I say unto you, yea, that it was in part rebuilt; and because the Lamanites had destroyed it once because of the iniquity of the people, they supposed that it would again become an easy prey for them. But behold, how great was their disappointment; for behold, the Nephites had dug up a ridge of earth round about them, which was so high that the Lamanites could not cast their stones and their arrows at them that they might take effect, neither could they come upon them save it was by their place of entrance. Now at this time the chief captains of the Lamanites were astonished exceedingly, because of the wisdom of the Nephites in preparing their places of security.” (Alma 49:3-5)

So, the Lamanites were looking for the wimpiest spot to attack the Nephites. Remember that Ammonihah was wiped out in one day. It should have been easy pickins’ for the Lamanites. The  Nephite resistance should have been like me swimming 100 meters in the pool. Weak cheese. But, the Nephites had worked hard- very hard, in fact, to prepare themselves for that moment.

The Nephites had dug a ditch, not just any ditch, but a ditch so deep, and the accompanying ridge of earth was so high, they couldn’t hit the top by throwing stones or shooting arrows. I don’t know about anyone else, but I think that is a lot of dirt. Thats a big hole, and a big bank of earth.

I picture these Nephite soldiers shoveling, hauling, digging, laboring day after day load after load after load to prepare this city. I can imagine that in the beginning, it seemed like a daunting task, kind of like me imagining myself swimming in a dark river for over 2 miles at 5:00 a.m. But they kept at it. I am absolutely positive, that when these Nephites finished moving that vast amount of dirt, and constructing this massive protective wall all around their entire city, they were stronger than when they started. How could they not be? They probably looked like a bunch of linebackers fresh from the gym.

But, it didn’t happen overnight. It didn’t happen by a lightning strike, or by the fairy Godmother coming and throwing twinkle dust the ground and turning it into a perfectly structured dirt fort. We don’t know exactly how they constructed this ditch or the bank of earth, but it wasn’t with a back hoe or diesel powered crane.

It was built bit by bit, little by little, Im sure almost imperceptible progress was made. But the process made those that were working on it strong, and the process is what transformed the city from a weak point into a stronghold. That same weak city that had been wiped out in a single day.

But, it wasn’t just one city. The Lamanites, came looking to take out Ammonihah, took one look, and said, “No thanks, peace out”, and headed instead to attack another weak spot, the city of Noah. But, Moroni was one step ahead…

 “But behold, to their astonishment, the city of Noah, which had hitherto been a weak place, had now, by the means of Moroni, become strong, yea, even to exceed the strength of the city Ammonihah. (Alma 49:14)

“Now behold, the Lamanites could not get into their forts of security by any other way save by the entrance, because of the highness of the bank which had been thrown up, and the depth of the ditch which had been dug round about, save it were by the entrance.

 And thus were the Nephites prepared to destroy all such as should attempt to climb up to enter the fort by any other way, by casting over stones and arrows at them.

 Now when they found that they could not obtain power over the Nephites by the pass, they began to dig down their banks of earth that they might obtain a pass to their armies, that they might have an equal chance to fight; but behold, in these attempts they were swept off by the stones and arrows which were thrown at them; and instead of filling up their ditches by pulling down the banks of earth, they were filled up in a measure with their dead and wounded bodies.”

 Thus the Nephites had all power over their enemies; and thus the Lamanites did attempt to destroy the Nephites until their chief captains were all slain; yea, and more than a thousand of the Lamanites were slain; while, on the other hand, there was not a single soul of the Nephites which was slain.” (Alma 49:18-23)

The Nephites had gained the advantage. They had put in the time, and had become incredibly strong. But it wasn’t by accident. It was a long, deliberate process. The cities and men had become strong by identifying and working on their weaknesses. By working, digging, scrambling, struggling, pulling, pushing, sweating, and preparing.

The Lord can, and will make our weaknesses strong, but he doesn’t just give it to us. It requires work on our end. We need to first recognize our weaknesses, and then we need to humbly commit to strengthen it by work. Then, the Lord blesses us, and aids us in our own little battles.

Moroni didn’t strengthen just the obvious weak spots, he strengthened all the cities. He didn’t take a look at Ammonihah, or Noah, and say, “Nice, our job is done.” He kept going. There is always room for improvement, or strengthening. That means, at the same time, there is always work to do. We can’t stop shoveling, or hauling, striving, or trying.

 “And now it came to pass that Moroni did not stop making preparations for war…” (Alma 50:1)

The beauty of all of this hard work isn’t just in the final product. A strong fort made for our own protection isn’t the only end goal. In addition to the increased strength where once we were weak, we are also happier.

We are happy when we work, get stronger, improve, and accomplish. Yes, we then become stronger. But, we also are happier along the way. The Lord blesses us in sneaky ways sometimes. Who would have thought, that through all this time of massive preparation, digging ditches, chopping trees, and laboring night and day that the Nephites would be the happiest they had ever been?

“But behold there never was a happier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni, yea, even at this time, in the twenty and first year of the reign of the judges.” (Alma 50:23)

The Nephites were happy. Happier, in fact, than ever. Even after digging seemingly endless numbers of ditches and trenches, and hauling dirt back and forth. Their strength came from the security of shoring up their places of retreat, and strengthening their weaknesses.

Sometimes our improvement doesn’t have to be pretty, or glorious, or fancy, or amazingly awesome. Sometimes we get better simply by working at our weaknesses. It may be slow, but it is always worth it.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. The Great Pyramid of Giza took 20 years to build. The Great Wall of China took thousands of years altogether to make, and the iconic temple that sits in the middle of Salt Lake City took over 40 years to finally complete.

Lets not lose sight of our goal- to be the best we can be, and live with God again. Lets look at our weaknesses only as opportunities for future strengths, and lets commit to be just as willing to work at them as the Nephites were in digging their ditches. Because, in the end, just like the Nephites, our safety and happiness is at stake.

I Wanna Be Like Tikes

08 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by in Battle, Brothers, Example, General

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bike

When I was in Jr High, it was common knowledge that the best basketball player in the world was Michael Jordan. He had the best shoes, he stuck his tongue out when he dunked, and he was cool. He was the whole package. He even had a commercial/song that unabashedly touted the phrase, “I wanna be like Mike”.

Remember this?

That sentence pretty much summed up my whole existence at that time. I wanted to play basketball for the Bulls, have black shoes, and dunk on everyone. He was the guy I wanted to be like, I wanted to emulate him, I wanted to do what he was doing, I wanted to be just like him. So, I practiced. I practiced, and I practiced. I stuck my tongue out when I dunked on the 7’5” hoop we had in the driveway. I palmed the mini-basketball I won at Lagoon when I did my pump fakes and everything. It was awesome. Watching him made me want to be better.

Last weekend, all that admiration happened again, it was like a flashback. Except this time, I wasn’t watching Michael Jordan. I was watching my little brother Tikes (Tikes is short for Tikes-Bikes, a nickname Tyson gave himself about 10 years ago when we all had blog wars back in the day. Talk about foreshadowing…) do an Ironman. He is awesome. I pretty much have the best little brothers in the world. For another example of how awesome my brothers are, click here.

It was in Guernville California. My wife Catie and I met up with Tyson and his wife, Amanda, to watch him compete in the Vineman Iron Man Triathlon. It was nuts. If you’re not quite sure what that is, imagine if you were a prisoner trying to escape a Russian gulag in the middle of a siberian wasteland 140 miles from the nearest anything. The only real difference is that you willingly sign up for it. It starts with a 2.4 mile swim in a river, immediately followed by a 112 mile bike ride, which, in turn, is immediately followed by a full marathon (26.2 miles). I dropped him off at the starting line by the river at 5:00 a.m. I then, being the supportive brother that I am, went back to where we were staying and fell asleep.

swim

After we (Myself, Catie, and Amanda) all woke up, and met around 8:00 am, we took a nice drive into the nearest town, and sat down in the morning sun, and had an amazing breakfast. This breakfast consisted of a lobster mushroom benedict, and some homemade fresh donuts dusted with sugar and served with a local plum jelly. It was amazing. It was hard work to eat everything, but we showed character, and dedication (almost as much as Tyson) and put our heads down and got the job done. After then relaxing outside at the quaint cafe, we gathered up, made another couple errand stops, and then went out to our planned observation spot. It was a nice shady spot on a sidewalk along the road where the runners and bikers would pass several times during the race. It was now about 11:15 a.m.

By this time, Tyson had finished the swim, and started his bike ride. Actually, he had already passed the spot we picked. Twice. Way to go us. Fans of the year award. We were totally justified though because we were really busy looking for the blackberry tarts he had requested.

As we sat there and cheered on the 2200 participants who were riding their bikes, and then as the runners started to pass us, we were impressed. They came in all shapes and sizes. Some were the traditional looking triathletes (5’9” 160 lbs. 6% body fat) but many were normal ordinary looking people, who were doing this extraordinary thing. It was inspiring. Hour after hour, as we waited and cheered, it was fun to watch.

We eventually did see him as he passed our spot several times during the marathon portion of the event. Each time it was better and better. He looked great. I was so proud of him. It was about that time that I realized, I wanted to be like him. I wanted to do what he was doing, I wanted to be able to swim, bike, and run and endure just like him. I wanted to emulate him. It was just like I was 14 again, wanting to be Michael Jordan, but I was 37 and wanted to be like Tikes.

I had watched him over the last year get ready, plan, train, prepare, work, train, compete, train, and train some more. And it all came to fruition last Saturday over the 11 hours and 38 minutes that he gave everything he had. He had gone from barely being able to swim 25 meters without drowning, to swimming 3,862 meters in an hour and 11 minutes, then biking for 5+ hours, then running a marathon. He didn’t even die. He was awesome.

run

He and all the others who chose to participate are inspirational. They embody commitment, dedication, hard work, and endurance. Through his example, I want to be better. I want to become something better, and be like him.

This principle is not new, and applies to all aspects of our lives, not just in a physical sense, but in a character sense as well. We live our entire lives following the examples of others. We learn, starting as babies, by watching our parents, siblings, friends, and everyone else. We emulate the actions of those we admire.

Over this last week I have been thinking specifically of all the examples I have close to me, and around me, that make me want to be better. There are several in and out of my ward, my work, and in my own family. Most of them probably don’t even realize how much I look up to them. I just kind of secretly spy on them and their awesomeness from a distance.

This is exactly how I feel about the great men in the Book of Mormon. And, to me, therein lies the power in that book. By reading it, it makes me want to be just like those amazing prophets and leaders. It has the same effect on me as watching Tikes swim, bike and run for 12 hours straight. It Inspires me to emulate the characteristics that make them great. They become my heroes, they are spiritual superstars. Its also full of stories about normal everyday people who developed Christlike characteristics through grinding out a tough life. There are countless examples of dedication, strength, character, commitment, sacrifice, faith, humility, and honor. I want to be like them.

I want to be like Abinidi, and be so committed to my faith that I can stand up for, and defend it in front of an evil king and his wormtongue priests in the face of death threats.

I want to be like Teancum, and be brave enough to sneak alone into the enemy camp and send a spear into the heart of their wicked general, at great personal risk, in order to attempt to end a senseless war, and save the lives of countless innocent soldiers.

I want to be like Antipus, and have the strength to run all day, and then all night, and then all the next day in order to save 2000 young inexperienced volunteer warriors who were willing to be live bait to draw out the enemy. Then be willing to engage that enemy army, completely exhausted, and give up my life to save theirs.

As we take another look at the righteous men and women in the Book of Mormon, it becomes perfectly clear that the characteristics they all display- strength, sacrifice, honor and commitment are developed as they were simply following the examples of previous prophets, or their fathers before them. As we learn more, it is clear that the the ultimate example that they were all striving towards was that of Christ himself. Either by his words found in the scriptures, or by his actual presence in influencing the attitudes, and actions of his people.

“…be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”
-1 Timothy 4:12

“And now, my beloved brethren, I know by this that unless a man shall endure to the end, in following the example of the Son of the living God, he cannot be saved.”
-2 Nephi 31:16

“For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.”
-John 13:15

“Behold I am the light; I have set an example for you.”
-3 Nephi 18:16

In Sunday School yesterday, we learned about a good way to envision what changes are necessary in our lives. Instead of saying “we”, or “you” when we discuss what we should do, we change our words into the first person using “I”. It makes things more personal, and meaningful. So, to finish this off, Ill give it a shot.

Good examples are all around me. As I identify who they are, and how they are, and I try to be like them, I will learn that ultimately every good example I have, steers me to be more like my Savior. He is who I need to emulate. I need to learn to love other people like he does. I need to treat everyone around me like he would. I need to forgive, bless, and teach like he did. As I try and change myself and be more like him, and emulate him, I then feel closer to him. And that is where my real happiness is.

Debbie vs Reba and the Rad Fads that Ended Up Bad

26 Tuesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Brothers, General, Humility, Music, Pride

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SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERA

This is a pretty close representation of Dad’s boom box

When Tyson and I were growing up, everything was a competition. Everything. Among the things we “competed” or fought over were super important things like, who could have the most posters covering the walls of our room, who had the best haircut (mullet vs rat-tail, side-spike vs steps), who would win in 21 tip in, who could eat faster (this was really for 2nd place as Casey was the clear champion here), Ryne Sandberg vs Andre Dawson, and on and on and on. All of this was also compounded by the fact that we shared a room.

Looking back its pretty funny, but one of the more ridiculous things we fought over was our Dad’s old maroon boombox. At that time, it was state of the art. It had dual cassette decks, stereo surround, and a bunch of equalizer buttons. We basically just confiscated it, and hoarded it away in our room to listen to our favorite music.

The daily fight and struggle was over who had the right to listen to who’s music at night as we were falling asleep. This is a sibling battle that may be foreign to all those who never shared a room growing up. But for us, we had to survive those nights when our musical choice had to be put on hold, while we suffered the torture of the other’s music until we fell asleep.

The thing that makes this hilarious is the music we chose. Back in the late 80’s, and early 90’s music was a lot different. Stuff that was cool then, isn’t exactly cool now. Stuff that was perfectly normal listening material to us then, just cracks us up now. To this day, we make fun of each other’s previous childhood musical choices. The beauty of this memory from that particular competition, is that we were both losers.

My personal choice of music varied nightly, but one song, on one tape, has become fodder for Tyson razzing me. It’s a song called “Gonna Love Ya (till the cows come home)” by Reba Macintyre. I know, I know, don’t say anything. I’ve heard it for like 25 years straight now. Trust me. I know. But, just in case you were wondering about that song, here it is…

 

Tyson, on the other hand, was a bit more eclectic in his choices. He was also a bit more current, and sappy than me. He was also maybe even a little bit “chic flicky”. So, his choice that earned his 25 years of my counter-razzing was, “Lost in Your Eyes” by Debbie Gibson. If you still have room in your doggy bag, here it is…

 

Now you can clearly understand why we both lost the competition. It was really more like choosing between a colonoscopy and a root canal.

The funniest thing about all this is that we were both supposedly big tough macho guys, and every night, we would argue and fight, nearly coming to blows, over listening to Debbie Gibson or Reba Macyntire! If we had a time machine, we’d probably have to both go back and slap ourselves. But it is hilarious now.

Isn’t it interesting how time changes everything? What is “cool” and “popular” changes. Shows like MacGuyver, and Knight Rider, the best things ever in their time, are now filed away in the “Man, I can’t believe I watched that, this is so lame” category right next to the files for pegged pants, L.A. Gear shoes, and big hair bands. But, such is the way of popular culture. It is always moving on, moving constantly to the next big thing, the next fad, style, sound, or whatever, but the only thing that remains constant is that nothing lasts.

These popular fads don’t ever last because their content isn’t lasting. It’s not even meant to be. People get tired of them because they don’t satisfy the demands of real happiness.  Fads have a shelf life of mere moments. Look what happened to the Titanic song by Celine Dion. In its day, it was played on the radio every 3 minutes all over the world and people still couldn’t hear it enough. But now, Its probably on the top 5 list of reasons why people want to pluck their eyes out.

If we look only to things like Debbie Gibson, or songs about cows to make us happy forever, we will only be disappointed (other than maybe laughing at ourselves 25 years later). Real, true happiness that lasts through changing societies, peoples, cultures, and traditions only comes through obedience to God’s laws. And these fortunately don’t change.

“For do we not read that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no variableness neither shadow of changing?”

-Mormon 9:9

“…I give unto you directions how you may act before me, that it may turn to you for your salvation. I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.

-Doctrine and Covenants 82:9,10

God will not change. His laws will not change. The blessings he pours upon us when we follow his commandments also will not change. They last forever. It is reliable, dependable, lasting and true. We can count on it 100%. Its like a #1 hit song that stays #1 forever.

Its so much easier to play the game, when the out of bounds lines aren’t constantly shifting and changing. When the laws or rules that bring us happiness are constant, dependable, and solid, we know exactly where to look to find and achieve real lasting happiness. Contrast this with following popular culture and its ever shifting views, beliefs, and so-called values. When we follow what is popular, we soon feel like we have one foot on a hover board, and the other on a banana peel.

This ever changing popular culture will try to lure us into the “better ideas” of what will make us happy. We may think, “that particular commandment is outdated, and doesn’t really apply today because…”, or, “I’m good with all of the commandments, except the one that…”, or, “The church needs to…”  Remember, when we think that we have a better idea than God, there is a good chance (like 100%) we are wrong.

Many, many people, have thought their ideas were better. Namely, Pharoah when he butted heads with Moses, Goliath and the Philistines, the false priests of Baal, Laman, Lemuel, Laban, and basically the whole world not in Noah’s family boat. Im not sure if anyone is actually keeping score, but God is undefeated. It may be a good idea to be on his team. We aren’t always as smart as we think we are.

The Lord specifically warned us about ourselves and this manner of thinking in the Book of Mormon…

“O that cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they shall perish. But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God.”

-2 Nephi 9:28,29

It may seem complicated to navigate through our everyday lives and deal with all the changing standards that the world seems to hold us to.  What words we can use, what is offensive, what isn’t, what is normal, what isn’t, and so on. And, if we try and figure out the world’s standards, we will be confused, because they change almost as quickly as they are established. But, if we just hold ourselves up against God’s standard, it becomes super simple. After all, we are all participating in his plan, not ours. He even left us specific instructions that even a 3 year old can understand.

In fact, if we think about it, the mind-bending big questions that world famous philosophers from the beginning of time have contemplated over, argued about, and postulated opinions on, come down to…

Who are we?

Why are we here?

Where did we come from?

Where do we go when we die?

God made his plan so simple, that the smallest primary children can answer these age old questions as soon as they can talk, or sing….

I am a child of God,
And He has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home
With Parents kind and dear.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me
Help me find the way,
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.

I am a child of God,
Rich blessings are in store;
If I but learn to do his will,
I’ll live with him once more

I am a child of God
His promises are sure;
Celestial glory shall be mine
If I can but endure

If we follow the instructions that our loving Heavenly Father left us in the words of this simple song, we will find real, lasting happiness not only in our lives here on this earth, but also in our future lives yet to come. When we look at the reasons why we are here on this earth from the proper perspective, isn’t this the #1 hit song that should be #1 forever?

Be Content with Clark Kent

29 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by in Book of Mormon, Brothers, Example, General, Poems, Power, Strength, Superheroes, Trials, Weakness

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superman

Can I really be content to get Clark Kent?
When I really need a MIRACLE to burst these bands?
This guy who looks low rent- turns out, is Heaven sent!
And underneath that suit- IS SUPERMAN!

A couple of weeks ago in Sunday School, our teacher shared a little tidbit that was awesome (Thanks again Gena). I want to try and pass on and summarize what I learned.

It was a perfect example that highlighted the difference between the realistic and unrealistic expectations in our minds when we pray for help. We seem to want, and expect the Hollywood movie version of real life. We want the dramatic flair and instantaneous resolution to our problems, but have a hard time when all we get are the seemingly plain regular answers.

The story was when Nephi and his brothers were headed back to the wilderness where their father, Lehi, was camped. This was after having returned to Jerusalem for the second time. This time, they had just convinced Ishmael and his family that it would be a sweet idea to head out into the desert for some unknown amount of time, and towards some as of yet unknown promised land.

However, somewhere along the way, Laman and Lemuel and their newly-formed merry band of misfits, did their thing, and got ticked off at some imaginary slight. They tied Nephi up, bound him with cords and left him out in the middle of nowhere in the desert, to be eaten by wild beasts. And I thought I fought with my brothers growing up…

If you were Nephi, how would you pray in this situation?

If I were a Hollywood producer, Nephi would pray, and then legions of fiery sword wielding angels would descend upon Laman and Lemuel and turn them into barbequed mincemeat, then cut his bands triumphantly and carry him on a chariot of clouds back to the desert while the Hallelujah chorus blared for everyone to hear. But, that’s not what happened.

Remember, Nephi had been down this road before. He had to deal with his bonehead brothers over and over and over again. He had also overcome all odds, and retrieved the brass plates from a wicked maniac (Laban). Nephi knew he could be delivered from the measly ropes he was tied down with. No problem. So, knowing all that, lets pay close attention to what he asks for is his pleadings with the Lord…

“But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may BURST these bands with which I am bound.¹”

Burst the bands? Thats what I’m talking about! Lets look at the definition of the word “burst” to see exactly what Nephi was asking for.

Burst = to issue forth suddenly and forcibly, break open, or fly apart with sudden violence:, to issue forth suddenly and forcibly.

Yes Please! How awesome would that be? Shards of severed ropes flying through the air as trumpet music blasts our ears and Nephi’s hands rise in clenched fists as he yells triumphantly….. Now, lets look at the actual result of that prayer…

“And it came to pass that when I had said these words, behold, the bands were LOOSED from off my hands and feet, and I stood before my brethren, and I spake unto them again.²”

Not exactly Hollywood flair. For comparison, lets now look at the definition of “loosed” (what he received) as compared to the “Burst” definition from earlier.

Loosed = free from anything that binds or restrains.

Pretty vanilla huh? The Lord got the job done. His way.

How many of us pray like that? We pray for the dramatic hero on a white horse to come in and save the day. We pray for Gandalf and the Riders of Rohan to ride over a distant hill and strike fear into the hearts of the Orcs who are attacking us. We pray for sudden, forceable deliverance from hardship, pain, or struggle. We want deliverance from whatever is ailing us, we want resistance to go away, we want instant peace, and resolution.

When we pray like this, we want, and even expect results. Now. Or at least in the next few minutes, maybe a week at most. We want results, dramatic, perceptible, obvious results. We want Clark Kent ripping off his shirt revealing Superman results!

And, if they don’t come, we are disappointed that the Lord didn’t hear us, or help us, or deliver us.

Instead of Superman, ripping off his shirt, we get this…….

christopher-reeve-superman

We pray for “burst”, but get “loosen”.
We pray for Superman, but get Clark Kent.
We pray for Gandalf and the Riders of Rohan, but get 4 tiny hobbits with hairy feet.

Nephi had asked for enough strength to perform the Superman “burst”. What Nephi got was Clark Kent secretly unbuttoning his shirt in a phone booth, methodically, slowly, maybe even awkwardly.

But, this is the exact point, and heart of the lesson! His strength was increased! And it was enough to loosen the bands. Probably after much wriggling, struggling, pulling, twisting, pushing, and pulling. He did not sit idle and wait. He did receive strength to loosen the bands that held him captive. He was able to become stronger and overcome. It just wasn’t in the dramatic hollywood way.

Remember, this was the same Nephi that fashioned a wooden bow and arrow after his fancy steel one broke leaving his family without any means of obtaining food. This was the same Nephi that built a ship after never having built one before. This was the same Nephi that smote Laban after shrinking, having never before spilt the blood of man.

His actions were coupled with, and enabled by, the strength from the Lord. That is how He works! He just doesn’t swoop in and do it for us, He allows us to grow and be able to help ourselves!

When we think about it, that Clark Kent answer that Nephi received, just like in the movies, eventually did change into that same Superman.

His bands didn’t burst, but he also didn’t wait for that to happen. He didn’t wait for Superman, he was strengthened to become a superman.

Do we do the same thing? After we receive strength, do we attribute that help as coming from the Lord? Or do we think that it was us, ourselves? Do we give credit to the Lord when all we get is just what we need? Or do we get upset, impatient, and resentful that we seemingly have to do it all on our own? Do we embrace the struggle, wriggle, fight, and strain? Do we recognize the small changes that the Lord effects in us to alter the outcome?

If the change or added strength is slow, methodical, gradual, almost imperceptible do we STILL give the Lord the credit for fostering that change like Nephi did? The Lord is certainly capable of bringing about dramatic and immediate changes, but He gives us just what we need. Its much more likely that He will strengthen us just enough for us to grow, stretch, and overcome.

Lets remember that the Lord is perfectly in charge of every little aspect of our lives. He knows. He knows exactly what we need, when we need, how we need, and who we need. He already knows. Sometimes “My way” needs to take a big old back seat to “His way”.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths³.”

And for another final piece of humble pie….

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts 4.”

Lets try and trust him a little bit more, and never just stop and wait for the Hollywood version of real life. Lets continue fighting, wriggling, straining, pulling, tugging, and pressing forward. Lets be happy with Clark Kent, because he is Superman5! Lets be happy with the 4 hairy hobbits, because they are the secret heroes. Let’s be happy with loosened bands, because they still allow us to be free.

“Blessed be the Lord, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him 6.”

 

 

1. 1 Nephi 7:17
2. 1 Nephi 7:18
3. Proverbs 3:5,6
4. Isaiah 55:9
5. Riley beat me to this Superman subject. His original post can be found here.
6. Psalms 28:6,7

My Little Brother

02 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by in Brothers, Faith, Poems

≈ 1 Comment

This photo captures the dynamic of our Brotherhood exactly
 Recently, I was asked to speak on the parable of the sower. So, after consulting my three brothers, proceeded to write the first 7 versions of this talk over the next few weeks. It was pretty awesome, if you like boring regurgitations of 2000 year old parables.

I tried a few versions on my wife for a test run, and although she was quite supportive, said, “Why don’t you just tell a story and make it relevant?” In 6 seconds, she rendered my several hours of study, preparation, writing and thought that I had done so far virtually useless. Of course, she was absolutely right, like always, and knowing that people tend to fall asleep everyday after hearing me talk for even just a few minutes (its kind of my job) it seemed like a much better option.

So, rather than run the risk of putting everyone into a coma in sacrament meeting, I had to go another route. It was just then that I realized that the true message of the parable had played out very distinctly in the life of someone close to me. After reading the parable over and over and thinking of what message would be really relevant to us today it was quite clear that I had to tell one of the best stories that I have ever heard. Its a story of my little brother. 

The basics of the parable are this: A sowers seeds land in three different types of ground or soil. The seeds represent the gospel, or the words of God. The soil types represent the receptivity of our hearts to the gospel. The three types of ground are stony, thorny, or finally fertile receptive soil.

The story Ill try to tell is how this soil can change, it changes over time, with effort, desire, a plow, and poop. because this is our blog, and not sacrament meeting, I will use the word poop, and not manure, although manure is probably more accurate. But the idea is that we are not cursed to keep the soil of our hearts permanently, we can change.

My brothers and I grew up beating each other up, fighting, competing, fighting, beating each other up, teasing each other, fighting, and then teasing each other. We were relentless.  Im the oldest brother, but I’m also the best looking, strongest, and smartest, but so were the other three.

There was always a lot of pressure to beat the other guy, or one up the other guy, or not let the other guy show you up. It wasn’t just in sports, but spilled over into all other aspects of life. The oldest three brothers eventually graduated high school, and went on missions, just like we had learned were supposed to do, the youngest, though, was always a little different. Being the youngest, and a little different than us, he, unfortunately, took the brunt of the teasing, razzing, and ridicule from the older brothers. We were horrible. I was horrible. I was an idiot, a jerk, and everything I wasn’t supposed to be as a big brother. In the context of the parable, I did nothing but sit there and throw rocks into my little brother’s soil. Im sure he just wanted to fit in, be a part of us, be like us, and all the things little brothers want to be. But, I didn’t help out. In fact, I did just the opposite.

Im sure that he felt tremendous pressure to graduate and do just like we did, and go on a mission, Im sure he felt that way from everyone around him, whether real or imagined. Whether purposefully or not. It was just the way it was. But, the fact is, he hadn’t developed a testimony of his own yet, and was honest enough with himself to realize it. He went into the MTC and came home after a couple weeks. I cant even imagine the way he must have felt. Even though he was an amazing kid, he felt alone. His soil was stony.  Mostly because of the rocks that yours truly had sent his way.

But, all of the stupid stuff I did, to make him feel the way he did, makes his story all the more amazing.

Fast forward several years, its 2011, and he’s now married, and has three amazing little girls. but his heart was still stony. He’s going to church, he doing the right things, he’s an amazing father, but his heart was still in the stony phase.

This is where it gets fun. As I hope you can see in the picture above, my little brother is the happy, goofy, life of the party, story-telling-est guy you will ever meet, so I will use the words he used to describe what happened next.

He said that he was tired of pretending, tired of going to church just because, and that if he was going to put in the effort, he needed to know for himself, really, that it was worth it. If it was true. And if so, he had to give it his all, not just show up.

He tells the story of him praying like he had never done before, he prayed with as much effort and heart as he could muster and said that he told God that he had an ultimatum for him, that He had one shot. One. One chance to give him and answer, and that it was going to be tonight. My little brother proceeded to tell our Father in Heaven what was going to happen. He made his demands. For his part,  he would go to the general priesthood session, alone, take notes, pay attention, give it his 100% effort. In turn, he demanded that Heavenly Father tell him, without a doubt, no room for error or question that is was true. He needed to be hit across the head with an answer though, no room for doubt. He said that because he had never really felt the spirit before, that it had to be obvious. (he has since said, that knowing what he does now of Heavenly Father, he would never talk to him like that)

So, he went to the priesthood session, and the first speaker? Elder Holland. Yep. the talk? “We are all Enlisted” Yep. If there were ever a talk designed to smack you across the face this was it. He said that the Spirit didn’t whisper anything to his heart, It yelled at him like a spitting red faced drill sergeant, then put him in a headlock, and then body slammed him.

He said he had learned that night the true meaning of “Ask and ye shall receive”.

So his heart was changed right? he lived happily ever after? not quite. He had just begun.

Stony ground is not made fertile overnight.

This is where the poop comes into the story. Lots and lots of poop. Knee deep poop, the really stinky kind.

In the context of the parable, we need to realize that the crap we wade through in our lives is not actual crap, but nutritious fertilizer that is changing our stony hardened ground, into the fertile receptive soil that the sower can use to grow his seeds. Sometimes the more manure, the better the plant that grows.

My little brother was just getting started. He now had 4 beautiful little girls who adore him. The last two had some health difficulties when they were just babies. Both little girls had mystery undiagnosable medical issues. The youngest little girl especially, Lexi. She would stop breathing for no apparent reason, and turn blue. She also had difficulty eating, she couldn’t hold food down, and she would aspirate and cough whenever she tried. She eventually needed a feeding tube to be placed so that she could get some sort of nutrition.

Because of her breathing problems, My brother and his wife would take turns staying up all night watching her every breath,watching her little chest rise and fall, just waiting for her to stop breathing. It was exhausting.

The doctors and nurses had no answers. They didn’t know what to tell them. The only thing they could come up with was to teach them CPR, can you imagine? “Sorry sir, we have no idea whats wrong with your daughter, but when she stops breathing and is dying, this is what you can do….But this ended up being a skill that they had to use multiple times after she would stop breathing.

One early morning my brother was on Lexi duty, and decided to take her out into the living room so his wife could sleep. He says that a lot of things were going through his mind at that point, and he was pleading with our Heavenly Father for help.  He then said he had his moment. His moment of complete clarity. His moment when he was able to see things as he was meant to see them. He said his mind opened up and he was able to perceive what the plan was for him and his family. He said in that moment of clarity, he saw that he had done everything to help Lexi, but the most important. He was to use the priesthood of God and to give her a blessing, not just any blessing, but a blessing to heal her. Now, this really shocked him, as she had received many blessings up to this point, from great men, but still had her medical problems. But, the feeling came again to him, that right there, right then, He, Lexi’s  father, needed to give her a blessing and heal her. So, he knelt down, put his hands on that little 3 month old girl’s head, and started to speak. When he described that blessing, he said his lips were moving, but the words weren’t his, his thoughts weren’t his, he just sat there in awe as a power came over him, and through him, and the words that did come out of his mouth commanded that little girl to be completely healed.

It took faith, but they pulled the tube out of her nose, cancelled all other doctor’s appointments, and Lexi has never had another problem again.

She is now a happy, healthy little 2 year old girl and you would never know that she had come so close to dying on so many occasions.

Since that night, and other experiences since, my brother, my little brother, has changed the soil in his heart completely. He is a real follower of Christ. The seeds the Savior sowed have now taken root, and through him, a lot of people in his family, and all around him, including me, the big brother, have benefitted immensely from his testimony. I look up to him, and love him. I see him a lot differently than I used to. I can see, in retrospect, that the Lord was preparing him all along to to great things, and, when the time was right, and when he turned his heart to the Lord, it changed.

Our stony soil does not turn into prepared, fertile soil overnight, it needs to be chopped up, churned, tilled, and sometimes, a lot of crap has to be heaped on it. If we do all this, we will be prepared for the Sower, our Savior.

Through all of this, I have learned from my little brother how to better follow, and love, my Big Brother.

Four Brothers’ Prayer

On bended knee, we turn to Thee,
and offer up our soil,
For His good seed, we’ll nourish, feed,
And labor, sweat and toil,

And from His living water’s well,
and light from Thine own Son,
Our plant gains root, and grows, and swells
Towards Him- the chosen One.