Category Archives: Motivation

Be More Than You Are

14 Tuesday Feb 2017

Posted by in Example, Faith, General, Motivation, Strength, Success, Weakness

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Like most parents these days, we have found that one of the most essential tools in preventing degenerative insanity while driving in the car with the entire family is the car dvd player. I have no idea how we as children survived. Not only did we have to endure oppressive hours of boredom during longer trips, but we had to do it all while in closed quarters proximity to each other. For the Alexander kids, it also meant someone had to go to the rear facing, nausea inducing back seat of the Caprese Classic station wagon, also known as “purgatory”.

While we usually piled into the car at the beginning of the trip not wanting to strangle each other, it most certainly required regular divine interventions, and some not-so-divine interventions, to ensure that our actual family size was not diminished by the end of each trip. Today, however, the threat of self destruction during family trips is much, much lower thanks to this life saving technology.

As the years of parenting have gone by, I haven’t actually “seen” a lot of the movies that have played for our kids, but I’ve certainly heard enough of Grease, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Open Season 1 and 2, All the Toy Stories, Monsters Inc. and each Kung Fu Panda to be able to recite them almost word for word. I’m sure this knowledge will be very useful to me someday.

Interestingly enough, sometime between the 78th, and 79th rerun of Kung Fu Panda 3, I caught a line or two that proved to be almost prophetic. It has been probably the longest running movie in our car over the last few years, and for once, something quite profound popped out. This prophetic message taught by Master Shifu not only impressed me as a movie line, but also ended up being played out in real life only a few weeks later.

The scene in the movie of which I reference is when Po, the main character, a Panda, and unlikely hero and recent graduate Kung Fu master, had been tasked by his master, Shifu, to further train the “Furious Five” who are his colleagues, and the best of the best that Kung Fu has to offer. Needless to say, he fails. Miserably. He can’t train the already trained Kung Fu Masters. He feels that he is the most unqualified person ever for the job, and that he won’t ever be able to be as good as they are.

Here is the clip

 

Master Shifu, the wise, experienced Master that he was, gave Po some great advise. He taught, “If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than you are”.

This line is a perfect description of many of our lives. We allow ourselves to feel like we aren’t good enough, or that someone else is always better than us, or they were simply blessed with more ability etc. So, we stay safe. We settle. We don’t want to  stretch to reach higher, be uncomfortable, or try to expand our abilities. We stop trying to be better because its hard, or difficult, or so far out of our comfort zone, that we feel like we are in outer space.

This concept isn’t new, and it’s frequently taught, and it’s all fine and dandy in a movie, or a catchy Facebook video, or a motivational speech by Toni Robbins. But this time, I was able to see it in action.

A little over a week ago, my wife was asked to speak in church for the following Sunday. Not a huge deal right? Well, maybe not for some people, but my wife hates speaking in church. Like, really, really hates it. She has said on multiple occasions directly to the bishopric that she would rather walk outside, stand in the road and get run over by a speeding semi than to speak in church. And she was dead serious.

And thats not even the hard part. This wasn’t a normal day at church. It was the adult session of Stake conference. Still not enough? This session also would have a visiting general authority (a member of the seventy), as well as the mission president of the Gilbert Mission (who is also a seventy). Thats like going from 0 to 120 mph in no time at all. I can count on 2 fingers the times that I remember my wife speaking in church. Period. And we’ve been married 17 years.

But what happened in that moment when she was asked to speak, and really, the whole week leading up to that very intimidating situation, was amazing to see. She was calm, collected, and faithful. She immediately accepted.

I was so impressed by the huge change in not only her willingness to do something so intimidating and miles outside of her comfort zone, but also in the way she had complete faith that she could do it. Of course she had the moments where she wondered why in the world she was asked, when there are so many other great people available, just like we all would. But she worked through all those thoughts and feelings and went on to do an amazing job that night.

It was simple, meaningful, heartfelt, and honest. It was everything it was supposed to be. She expressed her concern for our kids and how we have always tried to teach them what is right, and how now, as they are getting older, we just want them to develop a relationship with the Savior, above all else. She bore her testimony that the Savior has made all the difference in her life, and that we, as parents, need to learn how to trust our kids enough to allow them to make their own decisions. Which isn’t always easy, especially with teenagers.

After the rest of the speakers were done, Elder Jones, the visiting seventy, got up and spoke. Looking back, it’s interesting to me to see how perfectly orchestrated our lives are in the symphony the Lord is playing. I say that because, as Elder Jones began his remarks, he took a few minutes and addressed each of the previous speakers individually. He shared comments, scriptures, experiences, and testimony while turning around at the pulpit as if having a personal conversation with each person who had spoken. For Catie, he shared a scripture along with his testimony,

“For behold, the promises which we have obtained are promises unto us according to the flesh…God will be merciful unto many; and our children shall be restored, that they may come to that which will give them the true knowledge of their Reedeemer.”
-2 Nephi 10:2

To hear that directly and personally from a general authority was amazing. I can’t help but think, that Catie was asked to speak that night, not necessarily for everyone else, but specifically so she could hear that response from Elder Jones. We had been talking, and praying a lot over the last several months about this same worry. Sometimes the answers to our prayers are quiet and private, and sometimes they come when we least expect it, right after we speak in stake conference.

It was a special day, and I have been able to just sit back and enjoy it. Its fun to see how my wife has grown by leaps and bounds over the last few years. If you would have spoken with her 3 years ago, and told her that she would be called to serve as the Young Women’s president, and then speak in stake conference, she would have laughed at you, but here we are today.

Just like Master Shifu taught Po, “If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than you are”, My wife has shown me that this is more than a cool line in a kids cartoon, it’s the honest truth. She has taught me that literally anything is possible if you trust in the Lord, and leave it up to him. She has become so much more than she ever thought possible. I have always seen this in her. Now, I guess the secret is out.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust…”
-Psalm 40:1-4

“The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe”
-Proverbs 29:25

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation.”
-2 Nephi 22:2

“Blessed be the Lord, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.”
-Psalm 28:6,7

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Just Breathe

16 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by in Battle, Failure, Fundamentals, General, Journeys, Motivation, Patience, Success, Weakness

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In November of last year, for reasons beyond my comprehension, I decided that I was going to try and do a triathlon. That rash decision was a direct result of me being shown up big time by my little brother Tyson. He had just finished a full Ironman triathlon, and made it look easy.

As has been well documented in this blog, competition among us brothers has always been, and will probably always be, in the forefront of our relationships. Let’s at least try and call it “healthy competition”. We push each other to be better. Or, we push ourselves to try to be as good as the other guy. This triathlon thing though….?

Last time I wrote about this, I described the initial attempts I had made in the swimming pool. These initial forays trying to swim didn’t go smoothly. They instead made me feel more like I was in that Gravity movie with George Clooney and was spinning out of control in a punctured space suit, hurtling and cartwheeling towards the black abyss of outer space. Tyson had warned me about that and kept saying that I would eventually get it. But it wasn’t happening very quickly.

When trying to swim the right way, or trying to emulate the way the real swimmers do it, you have to alternate breathing by turning your head either left or right, while you are pulling your way through the water. All this while your head is probably halfway submerged in the water. The official way to do this is during every third stroke. Thats how they teach it on youtube anyway, and thats where I learn to do everything.

If I wanted to be a good swimmer, I was supposed to take a stroke with my right, left, then quickly inhale a breath while turning my head to the left on the third stroke. I was then supposed to repeat and alternate ad nauseam until I either passed out, drowned, or made it to the other side of the pool. The pros make it look easy, but its not. Its not, because swimming is a very “aerobic” exercise in a very anaerobic (underwater) environment.

For the first several months I made small improvements. I went from an initial limit of around 100 meters, to being able to go to almost 400 meters without stopping to perform life saving measures.  That may seem nice, but when you consider the length of the swim on a “half” ironman triathlon is 1.2 miles or 1,930 meters it puts a damper on your excitement. It makes you feel like you have to clean the entire bathroom with only a toothbrush, and only using your teeth. Not pretty. I started to see myself as being the only one needing to swim with Dora the Explorer arm floaties during the triathlon.

I was pretty discouraged, I couldn’t seem to be able to build up enough endurance to even sniff what I was supposed to be able to do. I would go to the pool almost every single day, and the same thing would happen. I’d swim 450 meters, nearly pass out, get nauseous, and see stars for the next 3 hours while I recovered on the couch (which was not exactly getting me prepared to bike for 3 hours, then run for an hour and a half immediately after I swam).

It was about this time that a timely phone call to Tyson changed everything. We were talking about techniques and things, and he passively mentioned that he took a breath every other stroke, not every third. I decided to try out this super secret, highly advanced technique of breathing more often instead of tempting death and nearly drowning each time I entered the pool. It turned out that breathing more often was a good idea. Funny.  So I guess if you’re suffocating under water, breathing more often is helpful. Why didn’t I think of that?

The next time I went to the pool, I tried it. I took off, and took a nice deep breath every other stroke, and kept going. I passed my old record of 500 meters, and kept going. I passed 750 meters and kept going, then 900, and all the way to 1000 meters. I stopped only because I had to pinch myself and make sure it was real.  It was. I shook my head and wondered again why I hadn’t previously thought of breathing more when I was out of breath. It was just that simple.

The next day, I decided to see just how far I could go, and made it to 2000 meters without stopping. I just laughed at myself to think that such a simple change had made such a drastic improvement in what I was doing. I decided that every “how to swim” video on youtube should have Pearl Jam singing the theme song, “Just Breathe”.

 

As I contemplated this improvement, and as I was swimming for those longer training days in the pool, I kept thinking about how much better my life was now that I had a steady supply of oxygen, or breath. I thought about the similarities of having enough “breath” in all the aspects of my life. I thought about the significance of spending one day a week concentrating as much as possible on the good things in life, my Savior, and the gospel. It reminded me of how Sundays, and everyday really, could be that breath of fresh air.

Sometimes its easy to get caught up in trying to do to much of our everyday stuff, that we seldom take the time to spiritually breathe. We are here on this planet for a purpose. That purpose is not to make the most money, have the best toys, or be the most successful in our chosen field. We are here to learn to be like God.

He puts us here for that reason alone.

As I have been through my daily, weekly and yearly routines, I have been guilty of trying to tough it out for too long without taking a breath. I have struggled to make it even a few hundred meters before I felt like I couldn’t keep going. I was seemingly doing the right things, I just wasn’t “breathing” often enough.

Our physical bodies need oxygen to survive and function. Our spirits also need constant spiritual oxygen for nourishment. When its continuous, it feeds us in a way that enables us to continue progressing and we become stronger and stronger. We become a smoother swimmer so to speak. We feel more comfortable, excited, and familiar with our purpose on earth. If we go too long without it, we tend to struggle, and sometimes find ourselves on the couch seeing stars.

Every day I should be breathing in the lessons taught in the scriptures, praying, and thinking about my real purpose on this planet,  and taking in big deep breaths with my spirit. It makes a difference. If I  do it daily, as the “professional swimmers” have counseled us to do, I will have plenty of spiritual oxygen for endurance.

Breathing gives us life. It sustains our mortal lives, but the frequent breathing in of spiritual oxygen is just as critical to our spiritual survival and endurance. After all, thats really the hard part, enduring to the end.

“The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life.”
–Job 33:4

Digging Ditches to Be Happy

13 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by in Battle, Book of Mormon, Brothers, General, Motivation, Patience, Preparation, Strength, Weakness

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A few months ago, I traveled to California with my wife to watch my brother Tyson compete in an Ironman triathlon. It was pretty amazing to see him, along with everyone else, both men and women, swim, bike, and run for 8 or 10 or 12+ hours straight. It was nuts. Imagine getting up early, before the sun is anywhere near up, and wading into a dark river and swimming for about an hour- with no stopping, rest, or lifeguard. Then, instead of dying an anonymous silent death and sinking to the bottom of the murky water, you run to your bike, and hop onto the most uncomfortable bike seat ever designed, and start pedaling- for about 6 hours. Then, after crouching and straining on that bike for the same amount of time as two full length Lord of the Rings movies, and looking more like a crooked old lady with scoliosis, you get to relax by running a full marathon. Its mind boggling.

After witnessing this event, and seeing Tyson do so well. I had a familiar feeling start to swell inside me. It was a familiar feeling that had been silent, dormant, and suppressed for quite a while, but began to fester up just like a long forgotten illness. It was the re-emergence of the “I can’t let my brother beat me” syndrome that I thought I had fully recovered from. Turns out, there really is no cure. You can’t beat it, you can only hope to contain it.

Tyson, from years of competition growing up together, knew just the kind of salt to throw in that freshly opened wound as over the next few days, he “encouraged” me to throw my hat in the triathlon ring. Smarter men, like my other younger brothers Casey and Riley, would have been wise enough to see the end game, and let that “encouragement” go unacknowledged or laugh it off altogether. But, because of my newly reopened competition illness, I fell for it. Both Tyson and I suffer from rather severe strains of this disease.

I had previously enjoyed a stronghold on the long distance running record amongst my brothers with a full marathon, but even that looked pretty pathetic now. I had just been ceremoniously slapped across the cheek with the proverbial gauntlet. And he did it in such a nice way which was even worse.

So, I was done. And, soon after returning home, I signed myself up for a small triathlon, and started training. Running and biking weren’t so bad, having done endurance training before. But, here’s the difference, you can breathe when you run or bike. And I happen to be very fond of breathing. Swimming, however, presented as a whole different set of problems for me.

The first time I hit the pool, I knew it would be tough, but that was an understatement. I never realized just how far 25 meters can be until I tried to swim it. It then got worse as I then turned around, and did it again, and again, and again. It was exhausting. Its kind of like tying a plastic bag over your head, and walking on your hands up a steep hill.

After my first training session in the pool, I didn’t die, but I did I feel nauseous and lightheaded for hours afterwards. And that was only after about a whopping 200 meters with life-saving gasping-for-air breaks after each 25 meters. I was in trouble.

The next 8 weeks were brutal. I was thrown by how slow my progress was. I was used to being able to train regularly for 2-3 weeks while running, and seeing some significant improvements. With swimming, I was able to go a bit further, but it was very slow, slow, slow improvement. I felt I was improving at the pace of the sloth at the DMV in Zootopia.

Swimming was the obvious weak link on my chain. I knew that going in, but that reality soon started to hit me, hard. I started to have serious doubts, not necessarily about my ability to finish the race, but in my ability to actually survive the race. The way I saw it, if I didn’t somehow have arm floaties on, I only stood at about a 50:50 chance of surviving the swim portion. Seriously. I’m not even kidding.

Now, I don’t like to have weaknesses, let alone having very apparent ones, so this was uncharted territory in a sense. I was eating some serious humble pie, like several meals a day strict diet of humble pie. It was frustrating, but I stuck with it.

Now, after almost 12 weeks, I am proud to say that I have confidence that I will not die in 3 weeks when I go for my first little triathlon. It has been a slow go, but I can tell I have made improvements. Thank goodness, because, I don’t want to get lapped by those 87 year old grandmas because I can’t get out of the pool.

This process that I am in the middle of- this process of trying to get rid of my weakness, and possibly even turn it into a strength, is a principle that we are familiar with. Its frequently taught in the Book of Mormon. A few weeks ago, I recognized this principle all over again in a seemingly unrelated story. This time it was embedded in the way the Nephites dug ditches.

In Tyson’s last post, he mentioned that Moroni had prepared the Nephites to fight in the most unfair way possible against the Lamanites. He did it with unprecedented preparation. You can read it HERE. This process employed by Moroni has everything to do with the famous scripture from Ether. In his book, he explains why we have these weaknesses….

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”  (Ether 12:5)

Ether wasn’t necessarily talking about swimming, or even Nephites digging ditches, but the principle applies to both of these scenarios.

We learn all about Moroni’s ditches in Alma chapter 49. It explains how the Nephites rebuilt the city of Ammonihah after it had been destroyed. They rebuilt it and then some. It was obviously regarded as a weak spot for the Nephites….

“Behold, I said that the city of Ammonihah had been rebuilt. I say unto you, yea, that it was in part rebuilt; and because the Lamanites had destroyed it once because of the iniquity of the people, they supposed that it would again become an easy prey for them. But behold, how great was their disappointment; for behold, the Nephites had dug up a ridge of earth round about them, which was so high that the Lamanites could not cast their stones and their arrows at them that they might take effect, neither could they come upon them save it was by their place of entrance. Now at this time the chief captains of the Lamanites were astonished exceedingly, because of the wisdom of the Nephites in preparing their places of security.” (Alma 49:3-5)

So, the Lamanites were looking for the wimpiest spot to attack the Nephites. Remember that Ammonihah was wiped out in one day. It should have been easy pickins’ for the Lamanites. The  Nephite resistance should have been like me swimming 100 meters in the pool. Weak cheese. But, the Nephites had worked hard- very hard, in fact, to prepare themselves for that moment.

The Nephites had dug a ditch, not just any ditch, but a ditch so deep, and the accompanying ridge of earth was so high, they couldn’t hit the top by throwing stones or shooting arrows. I don’t know about anyone else, but I think that is a lot of dirt. Thats a big hole, and a big bank of earth.

I picture these Nephite soldiers shoveling, hauling, digging, laboring day after day load after load after load to prepare this city. I can imagine that in the beginning, it seemed like a daunting task, kind of like me imagining myself swimming in a dark river for over 2 miles at 5:00 a.m. But they kept at it. I am absolutely positive, that when these Nephites finished moving that vast amount of dirt, and constructing this massive protective wall all around their entire city, they were stronger than when they started. How could they not be? They probably looked like a bunch of linebackers fresh from the gym.

But, it didn’t happen overnight. It didn’t happen by a lightning strike, or by the fairy Godmother coming and throwing twinkle dust the ground and turning it into a perfectly structured dirt fort. We don’t know exactly how they constructed this ditch or the bank of earth, but it wasn’t with a back hoe or diesel powered crane.

It was built bit by bit, little by little, Im sure almost imperceptible progress was made. But the process made those that were working on it strong, and the process is what transformed the city from a weak point into a stronghold. That same weak city that had been wiped out in a single day.

But, it wasn’t just one city. The Lamanites, came looking to take out Ammonihah, took one look, and said, “No thanks, peace out”, and headed instead to attack another weak spot, the city of Noah. But, Moroni was one step ahead…

 “But behold, to their astonishment, the city of Noah, which had hitherto been a weak place, had now, by the means of Moroni, become strong, yea, even to exceed the strength of the city Ammonihah. (Alma 49:14)

“Now behold, the Lamanites could not get into their forts of security by any other way save by the entrance, because of the highness of the bank which had been thrown up, and the depth of the ditch which had been dug round about, save it were by the entrance.

 And thus were the Nephites prepared to destroy all such as should attempt to climb up to enter the fort by any other way, by casting over stones and arrows at them.

 Now when they found that they could not obtain power over the Nephites by the pass, they began to dig down their banks of earth that they might obtain a pass to their armies, that they might have an equal chance to fight; but behold, in these attempts they were swept off by the stones and arrows which were thrown at them; and instead of filling up their ditches by pulling down the banks of earth, they were filled up in a measure with their dead and wounded bodies.”

 Thus the Nephites had all power over their enemies; and thus the Lamanites did attempt to destroy the Nephites until their chief captains were all slain; yea, and more than a thousand of the Lamanites were slain; while, on the other hand, there was not a single soul of the Nephites which was slain.” (Alma 49:18-23)

The Nephites had gained the advantage. They had put in the time, and had become incredibly strong. But it wasn’t by accident. It was a long, deliberate process. The cities and men had become strong by identifying and working on their weaknesses. By working, digging, scrambling, struggling, pulling, pushing, sweating, and preparing.

The Lord can, and will make our weaknesses strong, but he doesn’t just give it to us. It requires work on our end. We need to first recognize our weaknesses, and then we need to humbly commit to strengthen it by work. Then, the Lord blesses us, and aids us in our own little battles.

Moroni didn’t strengthen just the obvious weak spots, he strengthened all the cities. He didn’t take a look at Ammonihah, or Noah, and say, “Nice, our job is done.” He kept going. There is always room for improvement, or strengthening. That means, at the same time, there is always work to do. We can’t stop shoveling, or hauling, striving, or trying.

 “And now it came to pass that Moroni did not stop making preparations for war…” (Alma 50:1)

The beauty of all of this hard work isn’t just in the final product. A strong fort made for our own protection isn’t the only end goal. In addition to the increased strength where once we were weak, we are also happier.

We are happy when we work, get stronger, improve, and accomplish. Yes, we then become stronger. But, we also are happier along the way. The Lord blesses us in sneaky ways sometimes. Who would have thought, that through all this time of massive preparation, digging ditches, chopping trees, and laboring night and day that the Nephites would be the happiest they had ever been?

“But behold there never was a happier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni, yea, even at this time, in the twenty and first year of the reign of the judges.” (Alma 50:23)

The Nephites were happy. Happier, in fact, than ever. Even after digging seemingly endless numbers of ditches and trenches, and hauling dirt back and forth. Their strength came from the security of shoring up their places of retreat, and strengthening their weaknesses.

Sometimes our improvement doesn’t have to be pretty, or glorious, or fancy, or amazingly awesome. Sometimes we get better simply by working at our weaknesses. It may be slow, but it is always worth it.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. The Great Pyramid of Giza took 20 years to build. The Great Wall of China took thousands of years altogether to make, and the iconic temple that sits in the middle of Salt Lake City took over 40 years to finally complete.

Lets not lose sight of our goal- to be the best we can be, and live with God again. Lets look at our weaknesses only as opportunities for future strengths, and lets commit to be just as willing to work at them as the Nephites were in digging their ditches. Because, in the end, just like the Nephites, our safety and happiness is at stake.

Treasure In Earthen Vessels

20 Sunday Sep 2015

Posted by in General, Holy Ghost, Jesus Christ, Light, Love, Motivation, Opposition, Poems, Strength, Trials, Weakness

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Sometimes we don’t see our own worth in the eyes of God. We are his children, and he knows and loves each one of us perfectly. We mean everything to Him. He knows us, our problems, our fears, our apprehensions, our insecurities, our weaknesses, our doubts, our reservations, everything. He knows how we feel, how we think, how we are afraid to open up to our problems, and admit them even to ourselves. He knows! And He understands. And yet, He still loves us unconditionally! Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves of our true worth in His eyes, not our own, or anyone else’s. Just His.

For our Sunday School lesson this week, part of the scripture reading was in 2 Corinthians Chapter 4. As I was skimming through those verses, I read this which beautifully explained this principle to me. This is Paul speaking…

6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

I loved these words of encouragement. Paul and all the Saints and apostles and disciples were being persecuted for what they believed. But, in their sadness, pain, and worry, they had solace in Jesus Christ and in the comfort that He gives. The closer to the Comforter we get, the greater our resilience to pain, and suffering becomes, and the closer we get to our Savior.

Lets all look at our difficult times as opportunities to become closer to the Comforter, and to Jesus Christ who sends Him to us.

 

A Humble Prayer

My God! Through vessel weak and frail,
Wherein thy treasure hides,
Come shine thy light through darkened veil,
reveal my heart inside,

Real power comes through thee, not I,
Thy will, not mine, I’ll do,
‘Tho trouble, pain, despair reside,
Thy comfort will be true,

And when dark hours shall pass me by,
and I, cast down, will be,
As I look to thy treasure’s light,
Thy face, Thy love, Ill see!

Graceful Faceplants

12 Sunday Jul 2015

Posted by in Failure, General, Motivation, Poems, Trials, Weakness

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Everyone loves a good face plant. They are kind of like a car wreck that you can’t turn away from. You watch the video clips in anticipation, not really wanting to see it, but you cant pull away. The video clips often come in the form of a dude on a bike trying some unrealistic acrobatic slide down the railing of some concrete stairs, he makes it down about halfway before something goes horribly wrong and he ends up eating concrete and sliding face first for several feet.

We all watch, cringe, hunch over and yell out, “ooohhhh”, and then bust out laughing and being super grateful that we weren’t the poor sucker that will have road rash on his face for 8 months…..then we watch another one, and the process repeats itself until our stomach starts to turn.

We all love them, because in one way or another, we have all had a face plant or two. We can relate to the feeling of using our nose like sidewalk chalk. Ive done it twice.

The first story occurred back in Brazil while on my mission. It was the last day in the country before boarding a flight to come home. It had been raining for most of the morning, which wasn’t a huge surprise, but the rain had left huge puddles in the road.

My whole district, a group of about 12 guys, had met up at the office and were on our way to the president’s house a few blocks away for a big celebration lunch. It was going to be awesome. We were all super pumped about seeing each other again after the 2 years in Brazil, and we were going to go have some seriously awesome food at the presidents house.

This is where the drama unfolds. The aforementioned puddles in the road? Yes, these turned out to be a huge obstacle in our 3 block walk because the sidewalk was right along the road, and the Brazilian bus drivers show no mercy. As a side note, Brazilian bus drivers think that using the clutch to shift while driving  is an unnecessary act, that only slows them down. So, seeing a pack of Mormon missionaries walking clumped together about 18 inches away from a 14 foot puddle in the road was certainly no reason to slow down. Can you see where this is going?

So, Imagine all 12 of us walking along this wet, 5 foot wide sidewalk, rubber shoes, 14 foot puddles, speeding busses, and of course, the star of the show, a metal guardrail post.

When it all went down, I happened to be walking right next to one of my favorite elders, who looked and acted a lot like Chris Farley. We were just coming up on a massive puddle, and we saw a speeding bus screaming around the corner towards us, I think upon seeing us, the bus driver  may have actually sped up, and likely swerved a little closer to the sidewalk in order to completely shower every one of us in our white shirts.

Me, being the ever vigilant and aware guy that I was, saw this coming and peeled out in my modified sketcher shoes, who’s soles had been replaced with actual tire rubber. I was first out of the blocks, and was on pace to make it to the other side of the puddle before the shower of dingy, oily, grimy, stinky water could ruin my day.

Then, Elder Chris Farley (not his real name) happened. He was rotund, and not especially sound in his sprinting technique. His arms and legs were flailing well outside of his designated lane. His poor technique mixed with a rather narrow sidewalk, wet ground, and 10 other scrambling Elders was a perfect storm for what happened next.

After about 5 or 6 full speed strides, his right leg, and rather large foot reached out and grabbed my entire left leg and stopped my perfect sprinting form in its tracks. I went down. Not only did I go down, but I went down hard, I was in full stride, running like my life depended on it. My leg had been taken out by Chris Farley.  Time slowed down, as I saw what was coming. I reverted back to instinct. All my years of baseball had prepared me for this one moment. I had just enough time to raise my arms and perform a perfectly executed Pete Rose dive and slid along the wet cement as fluidly as if it were a slip-n-slide. It was a thing of beauty…..until the guardrail.

About 7 feet later, I met the guardrail….with my face. My hands were doing their best to keep my face from becoming part of the sidewalk, so I was helpless. All I could do was close my eyes. I hit with the force of a rhino.  Im sure kids in Texas came running for supper after the sound of that dinner bell as my cranium nailed that post. It was epic. I then spent the rest of the afternoon bleeding, and cleaning small bits of gravel out of my hands. My suit was ripped, I tore my shirt to bits. It was awesome. It was the very epitome of a graceful Face plant.

Here is photographic evidence.

FullSizeRender

The second story comes a few years later, while we were living in California during school. My son had just received one of those Razor scooters for christmas, and I was showing him how awesome they were. He was about 4 years old.

I was obviously dressed appropriately for action sports in my shorts, and flip flops. Nothing could go wrong right?  Well, I was due for another wipeout.

This one was also not my fault. As I was showing him how to ride out on the asphalt parking lot, a little pebble, probably put there on purpose by someone who was jealous of my Razor skills, nearly ended my life.  That little pebble, against the small scooter wheel, won. The scooter stopped immediately. I, however did not.

Fortunately, there was my wife to witness what happened next, or no one would believe me. I flew over the handlebars, leaving my flip flops behind, and turned full ninja in midair. I tucked my head and shoulder, curled into a human ball of momentum, hit the ground like a cat ball, rolled forward twice, and popped out of my curl back upright, as if it were planned that way. I looked like an olympic champion after a death-defying floor routine on asphalt.  I brushed the dirt off my shoulders, and looked at my wife, and said, “Yep, that just happened.”

The look in her eye said it all. I was her hero, for a few minutes at least. I had survived a possible subdural hematoma and 8 weeks in the hospital eating through a straw, all because of a pebble the size of pea. Don’t try that at home kids.

So, what do these face plants have to do with anything?

We all face plant in one way or another in our life. No one gets through without one.  We have to know, and expect that we will bite the dust at some point in our lives.  Its part of our learning experience here on earth.

We have to expect that there may be big scary things in our lives that get in the way of where we want to go, and who we want to be. These tend to be somewhat easy to avoid, or at least easy to see coming, They may be drug use, crime, or being unfaithful to a spouse.  These obvious things are like the speeding bus.  Sometimes, though, even as we avoid the speeding bus, we get tripped up. And sometimes, its even because of someone we like and enjoy being around. We cant avoid it all, and we aren’t meant to. The important thing is getting up.

If we can change our attitude to the point of expecting, and being prepared for our falls, we can be a lot more graceful in our face plants.  Sometimes something really small, and seemingly insignificant can take us down, or at least try to. These small things can be like forgetting to pray, or read our scriptures, treating someone unkindly, or forgetting to pay an honest tithe. These can be like the pebble under the wheel. It only takes a small one to trip us up.

But, if we are prepared to fall, and understand that it is part of life to do so, it helps us pop up so much quicker, and more gracefully.  It is still a fall, but it happens to everyone, and we all will fall again and again. We just need to better develop our ability to tuck our head and shoulder, and roll with it, and pop back up as soon as we can..

Many of the Lord’s best Prophets had their versions of a face plant. Aaron and his brethren, in the Book of Mormon, were working very hard, trying to teach the Lamanites the true gospel. They had separated from Ammon at the start of their mission, and had run into some serious pebbles. Ammon had been lucky, and had some success. Aaron and his bros? not so much. They were thrown in jail.  Eventually, Ammon and Lamoni came and rescued them from their trial.  In Alma 20 verse 29 it describes them after their unfortunate face plant like this, “And their skins were worn exceedingly because of being bound with strong cords….Nevertheless they were patient in all their sufferings.”

We can learn a lot from our own mistakes and falls, sometimes its the best way.  Let’s take the bad times along with the good, and learn to be more like Aaron and his brothers, and be patient in all of our sufferings, so that eventually we will become who we are meant to be.

Have Done with Lesser Things

19 Sunday Apr 2015

Posted by in General, Motivation

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When I was a kid, one of my favorite foods was the frozen Totinos pizzas, you know, the ones that cost 99 cents, and are made out of cardboard? they had about 14 strands of pretend cheese, and hot dogs chopped into small pieces pretending to be pepperoni. They were amazing.

As time passed, though, my tastes changed, and I graduated to the luxurious world of Little Caesars pizza. What a difference! It had round pepperoni, a product resembling actual cheese, and only turned into cardboard after it cooled down. Unbelievable.

But, as time continued to pass, I again graduated to better, more advanced pizzas, Papa John’s, Domino’s, Pizza Hut, and finally- The Pie, Fat Jack’s, and Barro’s. I had reached the top, the pinnacle of pizza. Or, so I thought.

A few months ago, my wife and I discovered the best pizza on the planet, it was in a Tom Douglass (famous chef) restaurant in Seattle called Serious Pie. It just serves custom made pizza made from all fresh local ingredients, and my mind was blown. How could anything taste that good? When you have experienced celestial pizza, you no longer need or want telestial pizza (Totinos has since been moved to outer darkness pizza).

Experiencing something that amazing made me forget all about Totinos, Caesars, Fat Jack, and Barros. I was no longer interested. It was a lot like eating a steak from Mastros City Hall (Tyson can attest), and then trying to chew on a rubber steak from chuck-o-rama. Having experienced something better, I didn’t want anything less.

This principle applies in all aspects of our life. Sometimes it’s just time to grow up, and grow out of those things in our childhood. Its all a part of developing ourselves into the best we can be. The scriptures talk about this principle as well….

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

1 Corinthians 13:11

So what are the “childish things” that we need to put away? Totinos pizza is a good start, but beyond that, I think it all has to do with our mindset. We need to stop worrying, thinking, obsessing, about things that don’t matter. Things that may seem important and mean a lot to us now,  but in reality, are below our potential.

As a man, I think this means that we need to start acting like one. So what does that mean? It means knowing, really knowing who we are.  If we understand exactly who we are, we begin to act differently. Listen to what the Lord explains to us if we stand up, become a man, and start to put Him first in our life…

 “And their arm shall be my arm, and I will be their shield and their buckler; and I will gird up their loins, and they shall fight manfully for me; and their enemies shall be under their feet; and I will let fall the sword in their behalf, and by the fire of mine indignation will I preserve them.”

D&C 35:14

What bigger privilege could there be- than to grow up, stand up, and fight manfully for Jesus Christ? Sign me up. Do we want to be on the winning side in the most lop sided battle ever? Absolutely! But, we have to first “put away our childish things.”

When we rise up, and put away the lesser things that muddy our lives, we become closer to what we are supposed to become. Closer to who we are supposed to be- literal sons of God. We become closer to God, more like Him, and eventually we can become one with Him….

“I am Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who was crucified for the sins of the world, even as many as will believe on my name, that they may become the sons of God, even one in me as I am one in the Father, as the Father is one in me, that we may be one.

DC 35:2

It may seem like a big deal to leave behind what we perceive as important. But, after serious pie, I forgot all about Totinos pizza. The person we become is a happier person, and a much more satisfied, and full person.  A person who hungers for more….

“But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life…”

1 Timothy 6

Hymn number 324 sums up perfectly the idea of getting up, forgetting the crappy cardboard pizza, realizing who we are, and acting like it!  Be a Man!

Rise up, O men of God!
Have done with lesser things
Give heart and soul and mind and strength
To serve the King of Kings.

Rise up, O men of God,
In one united throng.
Bring in the day of brotherhood
And end the night of wrong.

Rise up, O men of God!
Tread where his feet have trod.
As brothers of the Son of Man,
Rise up, O men of God!

I Can, I Will, I Must

04 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by in Motivation, Sports

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1

When I was a sophomore in high school, we were playing a basketball game at Provo High.  Their teams always seemed to beat us.  Call it better coaching, call it better players, call it better facilities, support, boosters, etc.  Call it whatever you want, but they always beat us – always.  I remember one particular game in which they were beating us just like normal and we limped into the locker room for our half-time pep talk.  Our coach (Jared Nielson), bless his heart was a 18 year old recent graduate and pre-mission friend of our varsity head coach (he had finished his high school career the previous year), and was likely frustrated with us for a million different reasons.  He tried to give us some strategies, some motivation, and some encouragement (and also a little tough love), but then something happened that had never happened before; the head coach came in and started yelling at us.  He usually didn’t even come in the locker room, and he never came in to get after us. sophomores.  Yet, on this particular day he asked/yelled a certain question for all of us to answer.  He said “how many of you came into this gym today, knowing that you were going to win?” Only one hand went up in the air – just one.  And it was not mine.  For reference, there were 10 players on the team (plus the assistants and maybe a ball boy).  The head coach couldn’t believe it (he also let us know how disappointed he was), and that was all he needed to say.  Needless to say, we lost by about 320 that game but I will never forget the lesson that taught me.  If I am being honest with myself, I probably thought (at that time) that our team could win, but I also knew that our team would lose.

2

A couple of years later, when I was a senior and was in yet another basketball game – the game was coming down to the wire.  It had been close all game long, and with 7 or 8 seconds left in the game PG had scored a bucket to tie the game.  Rather than call a time out our coach let us wing it and our point guard brought the ball up the court.  I flanked to the left wing and yelled at him to pass the ball, because I knew 2 things without any shadow of a doubt; 1) I was going to shoot it, and 2) It was going in.  He heard me scream, passed me the ball and then I shot it.   It went in and we won by 3 (it was a 3 pointer).  I knew I would make it.  There was not an ounce of doubt in my mind.

3

Many years later (2007), when I was washed up, old, and carrying more adipose tissue than I care to admit it was my privilege to play in the Class D softball world championships in Detroit, Michigan.  During our first game, there were some jitters, and some tightness that were uncharacteristic of our team.  We were normally a very loose and very good team, and we expected to go quite far in the tournament.  Imagine our surprise then, when in the last inning we were down by a run with little to no momentum going forward.  The thought of losing our first game was terrifying for all – which only made the tightness worse.  This is probably another symptom of nerves since there is not a bigger tournament that the world championships and unless you’re a 15 year softball tournament veteran, I imagine there are some nerves.  This is to say nothing at all of the ridiculousness of a softball world championship).  I was slated to be the first batter of that last inning and it was my responsibility to get on base and start a bit of a rally so that we could avoid losing.  I distinctly remember thinking to myself as I walked up to the plate – I absolutely have to get on base – not that I can do it, not I will do it, but there is no alternative.  I must get on base.  I would rather have died than been retired in that at bat.

There must be a point to these amazing sport stories right?  Yes, and not just to reflect upon my former days of semi-glory.  The point is that there is a very big difference in the attitude and confidence of thought – and preparation.

When any of us are placed in a situation that is challenging, we are stepping up to the plate, or we are given the ball in the last few seconds.  In essence – it’s up to us and I hope that we’ve already gone over that scenario in our minds (hopefully several times).  Because if that situation is just thrown in our lap, we will likely find ourselves in the locker room at Provo High, convincing ourselves that we could have handled temptation, adversity, trials, or challenges differently, but we didn’t because of any number of factors.

If, on the other hand, we visualize ourselves rising to the occasion, coming through, being victorious, etc. well in advance of the actual event, it seems to create a confidence within us that cannot come except from planning and experience.

This is NOT to say that visualizing an event in our minds, and then actually experiencing it are the same – they are not.  Imagining yourself parting the red sea is very different than actually doing it – especially when the opposing armies are hot on your heels with their angry faces.

If you don’t think that’s true for everyone, just ask anyone who looks cool and calm in the face of adversity, or who acts like they’ve been there many times before.  Chances are – they have.  Those who have won a championship seem to be better prepared to win another one because they know what it takes. Those with life experience, and gospel experience, and wisdom, and the spirit can provide some excellent examples of faith in action – but many things can only learned by actually experiencing them.  That’s in large part why we are here on this earth.  We need to actually feel the pressure of a screaming crowd, chants of “hey batter batter” or the thunder sticks while we shoot our free throws while we struggle to control our own emotional turmoil, fear of failure, hopes for success, etc. all while realizing that how we fare in that situation affects much more than just my own little universe.

How we act, how we perform, how we control ourselves in that moment defines who we are, it defines what we want, it defines what we love, and over the process of time (repeated situations) – we become who and what we are.

There were likely some that thought that they could traverse mortality with its plethora of choices and experiences and make it back to our father’s presence.  No doubt there were others who knew that they would succeed.   Then, there may have been others of us still, who thought as we learned, lived, loved, and started to comprehend what was at stake here in mortality that I must get back.  There is no alternative.  I will absolutely do whatever it takes to get back here.

Ask the savior, who no doubt visualized Himself in the garden of Gethsemane thousands (if not millions) of times prior to actually walking there that awful and most glorious night.   He had known for as long as we can imagine that He was the one that we all relied on for salvation.  He had known in His mind the logistics of the situation, and as Elder Maxwell termed it “the arithmetic of the atonement”.  He had known in His mind all along and had prepared Himself for that moment, but when it actually came, and He began to experience it, He became “sore amazed, and very heavy”, and His soul was “exceeding sorrowful unto death” (Mark 14:33-34).   This means that even though Christ had gone over the situation in his mind before, and He had prepared as well as anyone had prepared for anything ever – it still made Him “awestruck” when he actually experienced it.

Luckily for all of us, the savior not only knew that He could atone for us, but He also knew that He would atone for us.  To further the point – especially when we consider his plea to the Father – he knew that he must atone for us.  There was no other way.  His love for us won.

The question then for each of us to answer is “How do I feel”?  Do I know I can make it?  Do I know I will make it?  Or have I ruled out the possibility of failure and working under the thought that I must make it?