Inspections vs. Appraisals

26 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Motes and Beams, Types

We are selling our house at the moment, and it is quite the process (as many of you know) for other people to see, like, and then actually go forward and offer to buy something of great value (by great value, I mean something they have to get a mortgage for, as opposed to a smaller purchase made with cash or even credit cards). Once we had formally listed our home, we (our realtor) showed it to several people, and other realtors also brought people through our home to try and pique their interest.

Side note: we purchased our home and participated in major renovation projects (brand new kitchen and appliances, dining room, laundry room, 2 bathrooms, flooring [carpet and tile], and paint), installed a new A/C unit, and replaced the furnace) – which have added value to the home (from an appraisal standpoint, and from an atmosphere/living standpoint). We put a lot of work (sweat, tears, time) into this home and we feel that we did ourselves and this home a service in the process. These renovation projects took the better part of 6 months and occupied way too many hours to even count.

The obvious purpose of these ‘showings’ was to get one of these families to make an offer on the home in order to take the next step towards actual purchase. Once an offer was submitted to us, we negotiated price, inclusions, exclusions, etc. and obtained signatures from both parties. Then came the part of the process that I found particularly insightful – the inspection and the appraisal.

As part of the purchase agreement (and really any real estate purchase agreement), the buyers included in their offer a ‘due diligence’ date, or a date in which they could talk to an inspector, have him look at the home in order to identify any potential problems that would make the buyers reconsider their offer (or even withdraw it). In addition to this, the bank that will be providing the financing also requires an appraisal, to verify that the purchase price does not exceed the market value of the home. In essence, the inspector comes to look for, identify, and highlight what may be wrong with the home, and the appraiser comes to look for, identify, and report on the overall value of the home (all things considered).

The Inspection

The inspector came into our home and spent 2 full hours scouring every single nook and cranny of our 23-year-old house. He turned on every light, every ceiling fan, every faucet (hot and cold), every shower, and flushed every toilet. He tested every single electrical outlet; he walked into and around every single room. He checked the paint for scrapes, he checked the ceilings for cracks, he walked the entire foundation of the home (inside and out), he checked the porches, the siding, the roof, the windows, the driveway, the garage, the trees on the property, the floors, the walls, and even the attic (where nobody ever goes). He checked the pipes under the sinks in the cabinets, he flipped the breakers, he was the epitome of thorough – and it’s likely that he looked at things that I haven’t even looked at since we have lived here and the only thing he was looking for was problems. His whole goal was to provide the buyers with a list of every singe thing in the home that didn’t work perfectly. He found exactly what he was looking for – problems.

He prepared his report, which as you can imagine included some potentially significant things like:

Small crack in foundation wall
Hose pipe is missing turn valve (hose bib)
Siding is damaged on south end
Stairway leading downstairs is missing a railing

These things (when buying a home) seem insignificant to me.

But, what surprised me (at least a little) is that he reported about 35 additional items that were (in my mind) anything but substantial. Some of these items included:

Bathtub in master suite has a scratch
Dirt is touching the bottom rung of the porch
Electrical outlet under the kitchen sink (in a cabinet) is missing a cover
There is debris (trash) in the window wells
Some tree branches are touching the roof
There are ‘typical cracks’ in the concrete garage floor
Humidifier is unplugged
There is a cracked tile on the fireplace hearth
The sink drain is slow

This list seemed to go on and on and on – and as I read the list, I thought to myself, I wonder if this house is worth $5. The way the inspection report makes it sound nobody would ever want to buy this house, because it isn’t perfect, in fact, it has about 35 things that are not perfect about it and it’s likely to completely fall apart and crumble any minute now– and then this list is what he gave to the prospective buyers.

The Appraisal

The appraiser came, and happened to ask me what we’d done to the home to ‘improve’ it over the past while, and I ran down the list of everything I wrote in the side note above, to which he said, “Ok, thanks”. I left and he went ahead with the appraisal. I returned a while later when he happened to be on his way back to the car, and he complimented me on how much the home had been improved, how good the renovations looked, and how much more ‘homey’ it felt inside. He was very complimentary and went on his way.

His report will include and highlight all of the ‘good’ that the home has to offer (new kitchen, flooring, carpet, paint, appliances, A/C, etc.) and as a result of these improvements, a value will be assigned to the home that indicates the level or work (past vs. present) that has taken place in the last year or two. In a sense, overlooking the problems focusing on the positive elements and their overall value.

In terms of what any of this means to any of you, the inspection process reminded me of exactly how Satan views us, and wants us to view ourselves – completely full of problems. Problems that should be highlighted, exploited, and put on a list for any prospective buyer to see. No matter what room we go into, or which facet of our life we inspect, if we look for what’s not perfect, we will find it. If we only look for what’s broken, we may walk right past the brand new kitchen and notice the outlet cover under the sink is missing. Because all of us live in a house (body) that has been through the ringer the past several years, and as part of mortal life – some stuff is going to get banged up and/or damaged.

This holds true for what we choose to see in other people as well – are we inspecting them, or are we appraising them? Do I look for and find all the little ticky tack things that are wrong with or broken in others, and then use that list as a reason to not be friends, not try and help them, or do I focus on the improvements they’ve made in the past little while and compliment them on their hard work and progress? Do I continue my search for the perfect house/body (imaginary), or do I see a ‘fixer-upper’ and envision the end result after some TLC? I think these are valid questions for all of us to ask ourselves.
On the other hand, the appraisal process is more like the way that our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ (and hopefully our leaders) view us. They look at all the things that are good or that have been improved. That’s not to say that they don’t notice the creaky floor, or the small cracks, because they do, they just don’t focus on them until it’s time to fix them. They encourage you to keep moving forward, and see the overall value it the home, and as a most happy thought – they know exactly what can take place during the process and at the end when all of the little projects are improved. They know our potential and are happy to go through the improvement process with us.

The last connection I’d like to highlight is the fact that none of us are able to complete these projects (improve upon them, or help them be repaired) on our own – even if we have identified them without the help of a formal inspector. We all have the same need for an outside contractor to come in and repair what has been broken (either by misuse, abuse, lack of maintenance, external events, etc.). We rely on Christ to help us identify and fix our problems, and the only productive reason that we have in recognizing them, is to ask for his help in fixing them. This helps us to appreciate not only the help, but also the end result of that help. Remember that in D&C 88:33 that in accepting (receiving) that help, we can rejoice not only in the gift (that which is given), but also in him, who is the giver of the gift.

Maxing Out in the Gospel

23 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Opposition, Sports, Strength, Types

≈ 1 Comment

Recently, I have been reading a lot about symbolism, types, similitudes, shadows, etc. and in nearly every book related to these subjects, the author(s) cite Moses 6:63 which reads: “And behold, all things have their likeness, and all things are created and made to bear record of me, both things which are temporal, and things which are spiritual; things which are in the heavens above, and things which are on the earth, and things which are in the earth, and things which are under the earth, both above and beneath: all things bear record of me.” Once I started to look, I realized that this is totally true, and not just true, but really exciting. I have found that it is very eye opening, and surprisingly easy and incredibly fun to identify types or likenesses of the gospel, the atonement, and Jesus Christ in all things.

The best part is that all really does mean all. It doesn’t mean most, or a few, or select, it means all. It states that we can find these likenesses in spiritual things AND in temporal things (which we so often discount as just ‘things’ and give no attention to). So, if we seek to find these likenesses, we will find them. It also means that if we aren’t looking for an added measure of understanding or vision, we might only be seeing a portion (maybe even a small number) of the intended lessons, which as we are told, are in all things on the earth. That means at the grocery store, in the library, while driving, doing the dishes, gardening, or maybe even watching a movie. Also, it seems that a major purpose of these likenesses is so that we can understand a principle, or relate it in a way that is understandable to a larger number of people (to help us teach them), after all, didn’t the savior use very common things that were found in all the earth (fig trees, vineyards, feasts, birds, trails, roads, etc.) to teach the best lessons?

One likeness that I have found, that has become increasingly helpful in understanding the gospel, is a workout program called Insanity Max:30. Now, as we all know, there are several workout programs available and many of them could be viewed in this same general vein, but this particular one has a unique component (secondary component) that I feel is crucial to understand – especially in a gospel sense.

The main purpose of this workout program is to change the participant into something better, something healthier, and something stronger. But, as part of this underlying purpose, there is a secondary purpose, which is to have the participant fail all along the way – or as Shawn T puts it – max out. Each of the daily workouts have been organized and prepared to be so hard, that you can’t actually finish them without failing. This may seem like it’s defeating the purpose, but it’s not. It’s doing two things – it’s helping you track your progress (as you are encouraged to write your ‘max out’ time each workout and see how much you are improving over time), and it’s helping you to understand that failure is not only ok, but it’s inevitable, and it’s been part of the plan all along. Failure (as we’ve already noted here) is sometimes a cause for celebration. In this particular case, if you ‘max out’ during a work out, it means you gave it everything you had, until you literally could not do it any more. Once you’ve ‘maxed out’, you take a quick break, catch your breath, and jump right back in – until you max out again. This is repeated for a period of 30 minutes. It’s pretty intense. This goes on 6 days a week, with a rest day on Sunday. Every day is a grind, especially if (when) you forget the underlying purpose of the program.

As part of any workout program, there are also tips or rules to help any participant and rules about things to avoid in order to get the most out of the 60-day challenge. Some rules are to give it your best every day, to eat right, to get enough sleep, and to prepare mentally. The things to avoid (don’ts) are essentially the opposites of the tips (do’s) such as lack of sleep, eating unhealthy foods, not working hard or skipping workouts in general and if the participant either fails to do the do’s or continues to do the don’ts, it (they) may become ‘stumbling blocks’ that will cause them to become discouraged or even quit.

At the beginning of the program, or more accurately, when sitting in a comfy chair, sipping a lemonade making grand plans to do the program, it is pretty easy to envision the end results; ripped abs, killer arms, and cardio endurance for days, etc. and the participant thinks to themselves – I got this, 30 minutes is cake. I drive to work for 30 minutes every day and it is a breeze. Then, you actually put the DVD in and 2 minutes into the warm-up on day 1, you realize that your lungs are on fire, your legs are Jell-O, and you can’t even recognize the wet noodles that are hanging from your shoulders. You look at the folks on the video and they seem to be gliding along with ease, barely breaking a sweat, and you look at them and think – they must be on steroids and amped up on something crazy – because there is no way that anyone can do this. This moment – the moment when your mind starts to come up with alternatives to this torture is called the beginning of ‘the grind’.

This moment hits you in the face every single day during every single workout – no exception. Whether it’s in minute 3 or minute 23, it will come – and that’s the point. The point is to see how you will respond to ‘the grind’ when it hits. Will you grind through it? Will you max out and say, that’s just too hard, – I’m going to grab an ice cream, or will you challenge yourself to max out? And once you’ve maxed out, you have another decision to make; have I maxed out for the day, or do I catch my breath and jump back in? Or, do I mentally look for my first opportunity in minute 7 to ‘max out’ on the plyo-burpee-lunge combo and bail for the day and then convince ourselves (and maybe others) that we nailed the whole thing?

During this program, Shawn T tries to motivate his groupies by telling them to ‘dig deeper’ and ‘focus in there’ and ‘you can do it, I know you can do it’. He has even created an even crazier workout to directly address the mental grind called ‘Friday Night Fight’ referring to the fight between your mind and your body (especially during that ‘grind’ when your body is telling you that you should have maxed out 4 minutes ago) – in order to help your mind overcome your flesh – even if it’s just for 1 more minute.

If and when we push through that grind, making it just one more minute – something happens, we start to see the models on the workout video fall down, they collapse, they ‘max out’ and shake their head in disbelief and how ridiculous the workout really is, and we see Shawn T congratulate them for their efforts – and we realize – hey, these guys aren’t robots; they are actually sweating and working really hard, they are going through the exact same grind as me, and you realize, that they just might have been a little better prepared for this particular workout than me – but none of them are perfect either – because one by one – they max out. They walk over to the board and write their name alongside the point in time where they maxed out. No judgment, no ridicule, no criticism – just encouragement for making it as long as they did, and then they jump right back into it – right back into the middle of the grind.

The point that should be remembered during the grind and every time we are in the ‘Friday Night Fight’ with our minds is what the overall goal is, and what the overall goal is not. The overall goal is to change, or to become stronger. The overall goal is not to perform each and every workout with absolute perfection and never break a sweat. That’s just impossible. The overall goal is to give it everything you have, every single day, and improve. Then, at the end of the 60-day period, take satisfaction in doing your best – and then start again. This is best done at the end of the program, when you can see the end from the beginning – and see how much you’ve changed – even when you were failing all along the way. The overall goal is not to give up as soon as it gets hard, or even way too hard. The overall goal is to not forget the overall goal – and to try and remember why you started the workout program in the first place. The overall goal is to get back up when you’ve maxed out, and to start again right where you left off, and to get up tomorrow when you’ve missed a day, and to do your absolute best. The overall goal is the process of getting better, which can only happen when you meet ‘the grind’ face to face and try and beat it over and over again.

Now the question becomes, how does that have any likeness to the gospel? For convenience (and because it’s fun), I have created a table to illustrate some similarities.

Insanity Max:30	The Gospel of Jesus Christ
The overall purpose of the program is to become stronger, better, healthier.	The overall purpose of the gospel is to become something and someone stronger, better, healthier.
A secondary purpose is to ‘max out’ or to fail.	Part of the point of mortality is ‘to fall’ or to fail. This helps us rely wholly on the savior and keep us humble.
Failure to perform the workouts perfectly is inevitable.	Failure to keep the commandments perfectly is inevitable.
The workout program starts with a warm-up followed by increasingly difficult moves, combinations, and level of difficulty. A knowledge of the fundamentals is key.	In the gospel, as our understating and maturity increases, the level of responsibility or ‘load’ is increased to reflect that growth. A knowledge and testimony of the fundamentals (principles) is key.
At some point in the workout, difficulty comes. How we approach and work through that difficulty will largely determine our outcome (not to mention the mental benefits of lessons learned, helpful methods, etc.)	At some point in mortality, trials and difficult times will come. How we approach and work through that difficulty will largely determine our outcome (not to mention the intangible lessons learned and testimonies gained).
It is easy to envision the end results of completing the project prior to actually starting.	It is easy to envision the results of the gospel (living in the celestial kingdom) prior to actually starting and trying to live a celestial law.
At some point during every workout, you will hit ‘the grind’.	At some point during every day/week/month, you will hit ‘the grind’.
Rules (do’s and don’ts) are given for maximum performance.	Commandments (do’s and don’ts) are given more maximum performance.
Failure to obey the rules results in lack of progress. Those who see the rules as ‘silly’ or unnecessary may not keep them and are highly unlikely to complete the program – especially during ‘the grind’.	Failure to obey the commandments results in a lack of progress. Those who see the commandments as ‘silly’ or unnecessary are highly unlikely to complete or stick with the program – especially during ‘the grind’.
The grind, and how the participant responds to the most difficult portion of the program, is in large part the entire purpose of the program.	The grind (trials, difficulties, stress, etc.) and how the individual responds to them is in large part the principal purpose of the gospel. “And we will prove them herewith” (Abr. 3:25)
Giving your best to the program will make you tired – really tired.	Giving your best to the gospel will make you tired – really tired.
At first, it may seem if the other participant (models) are perfect, yet as the workout progresses – they fail, just as everyone else does.	It may seem that others are perfect, yet everyone has failed, everyone makes mistakes, nobody is perfect, and everyone is in need of the atonement.
Just when you think you’ve reached the point where you can’t handle any more – Shawn T asks for a little more. He asks and motivates us.	During times of struggle (the grind) or when we think we are maxed out – Christ asks for just a little bit more. His example is a perfect motivator and he helps us give just a little more.
As we near the completion of the program, we can look back and appreciate ‘the process’ of improving more than the small details and exact times of failure. We understand that while we haven’t been absolutely perfect, the direction that we are headed is more important that the specific location where we currently sit, and we feel motivation to continue and improve.	As we periodically reflect on our gospel journey, we can look and reflect and/or appreciate the tender mercies along the way, the progress we’ve made, and try not to worry about the little setbacks, or specific failures we’ve made. We can understand and see that ‘the process’ of becoming is what is important. The direction is more important than the specific location we are currently in, and we put more value in who we have become rather than what we have done. We feel motivation to continue and improve – and to do our very best.
This workout program includes coaches, communities, message boards, etc. to provide motivation, support, and experience to help users all along the way.	The gospel and the church are set up in a way to provide teachers, leaders, bishops, counselors, etc. to provide motivation, support, and valuable experience to help us all along the way. Not to mention prayer, which is a priceless tool for support.
While participating in the program, if you skip a day, or you miss a workout, you are not disqualified from further participation, nor are you forced to start over at the very beginning. You are encouraged to get back up, and pick up right where you left off the next day. The idea is to not let one missed day turn into 2 missed days, which could turn into several missed days, which could turn into quitting altogether.	In the gospel, if you skip a day (reading scriptures, prayer, etc.) you are not disqualified from further participation, nor are you forced to start over at the very beginning. You are encouraged to get back up, and pick up right where you left off the next day. The idea is to not let one missed day turn into 2 missed days, which could turn into several missed days, which could turn into quitting altogether.
In case of injury or doctor’s orders, the program may need to be suspended and or stopped until healing/preparation for re-starting the program can take place. It is also recommended that periodic evaluations take place (with physicians and or coaches) to ensure that you are physically able to continue or to discuss progress, goals, and any needed supplements and/or dietary needs.	In rare cases of severe spiritual injury (or priesthood leaders orders), certain blessings or privileges may need to be suspended until proper healing and preparation for recommencing the program can take place. It is also requisite that periodic evaluations take place (with bishops or leaders) to ensure that you are spiritually sound, measure progress and goals, report on successes/hardships, and to plan for any supplements and/or spiritual dietary needs.
While participating in the program, it is likely that you will start to see results, and it is also likely, others will see the results in you (added energy, more confidence, physical changes, happiness, etc.) and ask you to explain what you have been doing, or what changes you have made in your life to bring about this mighty change. This will provide you with an opportunity to share your feelings about the program, how it has helped you, what the program is, and some of the benefits of it.	While participating in the gospel, it is likely that you will start to see spiritual results, and it is also likely, others will see the results in you (added happiness, more confidence, countenance changes, increase of service, etc.) and ask you to explain what you have been doing, or what changes you have made in your life to bring about this mighty change. This will provide you with an opportunity to share your feelings about the gospel, how it has helped you, what the program is, and some of the benefits of it (i.e. share your testimony as a missionary).
While participating in the workout program, 14 million things will come up during the days, weeks, and months that could distract you or prevent you from working out. If you let them, these distractions will prevent you from reaching your goals, even when they seem to be legitimate distractions that need attention. Preparing a plan beforehand, and establishing a routine/schedule that is firm will assist in helping deal with these distractions. (i.e. working out early in the morning prior to the day helps complete the program before distractions can become a concern, whereas waiting to ‘fit the workout in somewhere during the day’ seems to be more difficult).	While participating in the gospel program, 14 bazillion things will come up during the days, weeks, and months that could distract you or prevent you from spiritually working out. If you let them, these distractions will prevent you from reaching your goals, even when they seem to be legitimate distractions that need attention. Preparing a plan beforehand, and establishing a routine/schedule that is firm will assist in helping deal with these distractions. (i.e. scripture study early in the morning prior to the day helps you to get your shield on before distractions can become a concern, whereas waiting to ‘fit the study in somewhere during the day’ seems to be more difficult).
Shawn T says (about the program) “if it wasn’t a challenge, everyone could do it, and it wouldn’t get you the results you want”. This means that any workout program that doesn’t cause you to come face to face with ‘the grind’ and cause you to ‘dig deeper’ won’t produce the results and the intestinal fortitude necessary to produce the body and results that you really want.	Sheri Dew says (about the gospel) “If it was easy, it wouldn’t be hard”, and Joseph Smith said (about the gospel) “a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation.”
If you push through the workout program, and you complete it, you are pretty quick to admit that everything you put into it (while incredibly difficult in that moment) was worth it, and the results are actually greater than the sacrifices made.	If you continue through (and especially in) the gospel, you are quick to admit that everything that you have put into it (given to the cause of Jesus Christ), while at points may be incredibly difficult, was worth it, and the results and blessings that are obtained, are greater than anything that is given up along the way.

The idea of this post is to help us (all of us) realize that sometimes we are in the middle of ‘the grind’, and when we are in the middle of that grind, the best thing we can do is just keep going, or as other people (likenesses in all the world) have said, “just keep swimming”¹, “keep moving forward”², or “keep on keepin’ on”³. We knew in our minds that when we started this gospel program, that there would be days where our best was just making it until bedtime without a full scale explosion– and that’s okay, because we all max out – what’s important is that we get up as soon as we can, we jump right back into it, and we give everything that we have left again and again. And, it’s to help us realize that ‘the process’ of becoming like Christ requires a whole lot of ‘grinding’ just like ‘the process’ of becoming fit requires a whole lot of ‘grinding’. We just have to remember that we can’t forget about (or be angry with) ‘the process’ compared to the end result (goal of perfection), because the end result happens to be directly related to what we put into the process all along the way.

I started with a scripture, and I’ll end with a scripture – but this one is to help us understand that when we are in the grind, those moments, those days, those weeks, those months, or even those years – that’s right where we should be, and that’s right where the sweet spot is, and as hard as it is to remember, that spot (the grind) is the one spot that creates the greatest growth in each of us. Of that moment, Shawn T says (when it really starts to burn); “don’t run from the work, feel the work”. And that is the qualifier for progress. As Nephi (quoting Isaiah) reminded us in 1 Ne. 20:10 it’s from that spot where he chooses us; “For behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction”. So when we find ourselves in the furnace – and we think we are maxing out – just follow Shawn T’s advice and “give it one more minute. Dig a little deeper and focus in there, and I promise you, you will see results”.

Notes

1 Dory (Finding Nemo)

2 Cornelius, and really the entire Robinson family (Meet the Robinsons)

3 Embarrassingly enough, I just used a reference from Joe Dirt in my blog post about the gospel.

The Language of Love

19 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Language, Love

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Many of us know or have heard about the five love languages¹ for us and our relationships with each other. The process of reading about, discovering, perhaps even engaging in friendly discussions with our loved ones about, and filling out the questionnaire to determine which of the five languages best describe us is very interesting. At the end of the day, we get to determine (or at least be guided in thinking about) how we (as mortals) show our love to and for others, AND perhaps even more importantly whether we are actually aware of the most effective way that our spouses and/or family members want to be shown love. Because after all, we understand a language (how we interpret love being shown to us) and we speak² a language (how we think we show love to others), and so does everyone else, but sometimes we may not even be saying or hearing the same things.

For a quick summary; if a persons love language is receiving gifts, they tend to equate receiving a gift with love very easily (meaning they understand that the person who gave them a gift must be showing them love), but if that person is told (words of affirmation) of their worth, perhaps hugged (physical touch), accompanied on a walk (quality time) by their significant other, or service (dishes, laundry, etc.) is performed on their behalf (acts of service) they may have harder time identifying that particular act with being shown love. They may view it as something entirely different such as duty, or perhaps not even notice it at all despite the intent from the giver of the act or words. In the same light, that same person may have a tendency to give gifts to loved ones in a very real effort to show love, because they readily identify with that language – even if their love language isn’t the same. This can lead to confusion because one individual is very clearly showing love, but the one they are showing love to has a completely different idea of what that demonstration should be. If I speak the language of quality time, words of affirmation won’t seem to do the trick, or if I feel love by physical touch, I doubt gifts or acts of service will carry the same weight.

Suddenly, the confusion at the tower of Babel seems pretty familiar, at least until the people who were (or are) involved identify that they are likely saying the same thing, just in a language that has been confounded.⁴ So, the responsible parties (those who are trying to communicate with each other) are left to either find common ground (helpful), learn everyone else’s language (best option) or forever be presented with a problem ‘such as is common to man’³ (and by man I mean mankind, not the male gender).

Before moving forward I wish to express my feelings that none of us are limited to a single love language. While it may be true or generally prevalent thought that we have a primary love language, I am not one to limit ourselves with a singular language. I think that we are capable of understanding a lot more about love with a bit of understanding and maybe some effort on our part. I also think that by understanding more about all of the love languages, and making a sincere effort to identify with, appreciate, and even attempt to recreate them it makes a better communicator (obviously), and therefore more capable of both giving and receiving love in various ways. This, in the end is the goal. Love.⁵

This knowledge became an understanding for me recently, because I was able to apply this to (by apply I mean retroactively think about and identify with) a real life situation. Since that understanding, I thought to share this thought, even though most if not all of the people who will read this post will say something like “no duh. Tyson just informed me of something that I have known for so long, that I don’t even remember learning it.”

Part 1 of my awareness: Christmas just passed, and I was thinking about all the ‘gifts’ that I gave and all the gifts that I received, and I started to wonder how those gifts that I had given were received by those to whom they’d been given.

Part 2 of my awareness: I have been thinking about some situations that are less than ideal⁶ involving people that I love (which includes me – which is why I used the word involved). Situations could mean a variety of things, including words, actions, thoughts, assumptions, etc. which provide the all too frequent opportunity for discussion, discomfort, awkwardness, concern, terror, fear and maybe even anger or forgiveness.

As I was thinking about these two things, I started to understand some things at the same time:

1) I get answers to my problems (and everyone else’s)⁷ in life through books (reading, studying, etc.). Or at least, that’s how I get most of the way through the problems. I read, then I read some more, and then I keep reading. Then when I’m done, I compare it with what I’ve read. That’s MY love language.

2) I try to give other people the solutions to their problems by speaking my language to them. This was a sobering fact for me, and one that I was able to see very clearly (after it was too late), and this was very much based on my previous understanding (which is probably better termed a reinforced confirmation because I mostly knew it already).

As I was reflecting on the gifts that I had given last year, and as I was thinking of what to get those that I love most, guess what kept popping into my head…..yep, books. I wanted to give everyone books (I did last year). What I intend in this gift is that these are literally stacks of gold. Golden objects that contain the answers to all the questions and that speak the language of love. They have the ability to answer all the questions and solve all your problems. I had carefully selected books that I knew would provide critical clarity to a particular issue – because I had found what I thought they needed there. But, what I did not realize is that I was speaking the wrong language to them. It was as if I were babbling in some strange tongue while they were looking at me and nodding with a smile and thinking to themselves…”wow, a book. I hate reading. Thanks Tyson” (this is further insight into the story I shared here).

The connection is a simple scripture passage, and one that I feel ties this whole thing together. Especially when we try to understand that the language of love can be spoken and therefore heard, and it can be shown and therefore felt, and if we are honest, the language of love can be demonstrated in an infinite number of different ways, because the way that we feel love or receive love can and will be just as varied. But, there is someone who can, does, and will speak every single love language, and this is critical because as it says in scripture (especially referring to words/actions/etc. as empowered by the holy ghost) that “every man heard them speak in his own language”.⁸

This means that regardless of what my love language is, the spirit speaks to me in that language, because that’s the language I understand, and because the Lord and the spirit know this, they continue to speak to me in that language. And what’s even better is the scripture says that particular language, the one I hear, it’s “my own language”. It is my own language, and I love it. I speak it. I feel it. I read it. I hear it. I know it. I absorb it. I know the difference in intonations and inflections; I know about past participles and dangling prepositions. I know the seemingly conflicting rules of grammar and I know the difference between their, there, and they’re. I know and recognize different accents, meanings, contexts, and intentions. It’s ‘my’ language. I don’t know these things because I studied or learned them all – I just know them because ‘it’s my language’. It’s how the spirit speaks to me. It’s how the Lord communicates with me. It’s ‘my’⁹ language of love and I can promise you that there isn’t anyone else who speaks ‘my’ language. We all get our own, and the common denominator is the spirit. When we understand this – the phrase ‘love languages’ fits perfectly, because that’s exactly what true communion with deity is – love. A love so deep and so intense that he mastered every single language just so that he could be the most effective at demonstrating it to me. Just me, and just you. We could say that He IS this language. This is an amazing idea.

Now, on to the morals of this story:

Let us be ever so grateful that the Lord and the spirit speak ‘our own’ love language perfectly, and speak to us and show us love via that language – in a way that is super effective if and when we recognize it.
Let us try harder to recognize the language that others speak (this is not easy) – especially because sometimes we can’t just ask them what it is.That is part of the challenge and responsibility we have as their loved ones – to find it out in order to best serve and love them. Remember that this love, this pure love, “suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, … beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things”. ¹⁰

Let us seek to hear and speak and feel and show this love, to share this love, and to become this love.

Notes:

1 The five love languages are identified as follows: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Acts of Service as outlined by Gary Chapman in his book “The 5 Love Languages, The Secret to Love That Lasts’.

2 Even though languages are typically spoken, I will likely use ‘feel’ in place of ‘hear’ or ‘speak’ and their various relatives at different points, just because it is hard to ‘hear’ or speak any of the languages except for words of affirmation. Other uses for ‘hearing/speaking’ a language may also include ‘show’.

3 See Gen. 11:4-9

4 1 Cor. 10:13

5 While this word, it’s meaning, and the infinite depths that we could explore to find applicable notes are many, a few will suffice; they include 1) “Charity” with all of it’s implications, requirements, and power and 2) “God is Love”, and 3) “All you need is love” (The Beatles, and perhaps more definitively and explicitly it’s variation “Love is all you need” as phrased by Pearl Jam).

6 ‘Less that ideal’ is a nice way to say ‘broken, strained, lacking completion, or even a bit uncomfortable’.

7 This is not to assume that I actually have the answers for anyone else except me – but that doesn’t stop me from trying to solve everybody else’s problems. After all, it’s easy for me to see the motes that are in other people’s eyes, exactly what they need to remove them, and which methods and equipment would be best suited for that purpose. Please realize I understand full well that both of my eyes are overflowing with beams.

8 See Acts 2:1-6

9 Please note my same feelings here (that I don’t feel any of us are limited to a single love language). While it may be true that ‘my own’ language is absolutely my primary language, I think that we are capable of understanding a lot more about love when we understand it’s true meaning in multiple languages. This can be proved by those who speak multiple languages, especially those from which the scriptures have been translated, and when those who speak multiple languages compare translations to better understand intent, context, etc. This idea is furthered and confirmed when we think of scriptures, parables, types, shadows, similitudes, etc. since there is much more being relayed than just the words and if we don’t understand all of the languages that are being spoken/written, we will miss out.

10 Moroni 7:45 (see also 1 Cor. 13:4-7)

The Spirit of Christmas

22 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Christmas, Music, Poems

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Christmas time is a special time. I think we all feel that. One of the reasons that I feel it is such a special time, is because Christmas music has a special way of inviting the spirit. This is because the spirit testifies of truth no matter what, and Christmas time is the one time all year, that everyone has Christmas music playing, and the likelihood of feeling that spirit of truth is greatly increased. The spirit confirms all truth, and Christmas music is full of truth, whether we fully realize it or not.

As part of this Christmas season, and in a very real effort to invite that spirit into all of our lives, I am listing 5 of my favorite Christmas songs, that contain some of the most powerful phrases that we may or may not realize we are singing or hearing.

O Holy Night

One of my absolute favorites is O Holy Night, which was originally a French poem (Minuit, Chrétiens) which means Midnight, Christians.¹ I am including the English (traditional translation) with the literal (non-traditional) translation, since I think if we know where it came from, it may help.

Traditional

Oh Holy Night

The stars are brightly shining

It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

‘Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees O hear the angels voices.

O night divine O night when Christ was born

O night divine, O night, O night divine.

Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,

With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,

Here came the wise men from Orient land.

The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;

In all our trials born to be our friend.

He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,

Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,

His power and glory evermore proclaim.

O night divine, O night, O night divine

Literal

Midnight, Christians, is the solemn hour,

When God as man descended unto us

To erase the stain of original sin

And to end the wrath of His Father.

The entire world thrills with hope

On this night that gives it a Saviour.

People, kneel down, await your deliverance.

Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer,

Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer!

May the ardent light of our Faith

Guide us all to the cradle of the infant,

As in ancient times a brilliant star

Guided the Oriental kings there.

The King of Kings was born in a humble manger;

O mighty ones of today, proud of your greatness,

It is to your pride that God preaches.

Bow your heads before the Redeemer!

The Redeemer has broken every bond:

The Earth is free, and Heaven is open.

He sees a brother where there was only a slave,

Love unites those that iron had chained.

Who will tell Him of our gratitude,

For all of us He is born, He suffers and dies.

People, stand up! Sing of your deliverance,

Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer,

Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer!

Still, Still, Still

Another of my favorites has always been still, still, still. We actually sang this in our choir performance yesterday, and our director, in an inspired effort included a little handout with the ward program that included the words to all of the songs that we sang, and my wife mentioned to me that she had never really read the words to this song.

Still, still, still,

One can hear the falling snow.

For all is hushed,

The world is sleeping,

Holy Star its vigil keeping.

Still, still, still,

One can hear the falling snow.

Sleep, sleep, sleep,

‘Tis the eve of our Saviour’s birth.

The night is peaceful all around you,

Close your eyes,

Let sleep surround you.

Sleep, sleep, sleep,

‘Tis the eve of our Saviour’s birth.

Dream, dream, dream,

Of the joyous day to come.

While guardian angels without number,

Watch you as you sweetly slumber.

Dream, dream, dream,

Of the joyous day to come.

Silent Night

Silent night is such a Christmas classic, that we often forget how much of a powerhouse it is. As a note, I like to change the wording in verse 2 (Radiant to Radiance), and verse 3 (Glories stream to Glory streams) since President Dalquist instructed us to when I was in high school. I’ve never been able to sing it any other way since then. Please note the use of exclamation points in this soft lullaby.

Silent night! Holy night!

All is calm, all is bright

Round yon virgin, mother and Child.

Holy infant, tender and mild,

Sleep in heavenly peace;

Sleep in heavenly peace.

Silent night! Holy night!

Shepherds quake at the sight!

Glory streams from heaven afar

Heav’nly hosts sing Alleluia!

Christ the Savior is born!

Silent night! Holy night!

Son of God, love’s pure light

Radiance beams from thy holy face,

With the dawn of redeeming grace,

Jesus, Lord at thy birth

Jesus, Lord at thy birth.

Joy to the World

If there was ever a Christmas song that you can’t sing loud enough, it might be this one. Our choir sang this while being accompanied by both the piano and the organ – and even when the congregation joined in for the 4^th verse, it wasn’t nearly loud enough. This is the one song that I relate very directly to the choirs of angels referenced in Luke 2:13-14.

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!

Let earth receive her King!

Let ev’ry heart prepare him room,

And Saints and angels sing.

And Saints and angles sing,

And Saints, and saints and angels sing.

Rejoice! Rejoice when Jesus reigns

And saints their songs employ,

While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains

Repeat the sounding joy,

Repeat, repeat the sounding joy

No more will sin and sorrow grow,

Nor thorns infest the ground;

He’ll come and make the blessings flow

Far as the curse was found,

Far as, far as the curse was found

Rejoice! Rejoice in the Most High,

While Israel spreads abroud

Like stars that glitter in the sky,

And ever worship God,

And ever, and ever worship God.

In the Bleak Midwinter

This is a relatively unknown Christmas song, but the message is still crystal clear, and is sung by many great artists.

In the bleak mid-winter

Frosty wind made moan,

Earth stood hard as iron,

Water like a stone;

Snow had fallen, snow on snow,

Snow on snow,

In the bleak midwinter

Long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him

Nor earth sustain;

Heaven and earth shall flee away

When He comes to reign:

In the bleak mid-winter

A stable-place sufficed

The Lord God Almighty,

Jesus Christ.

Angels and archangels

May have gathered there,

Cherubim and seraphim

Thronged the air –

But only His mother

In her maiden bliss

Worshipped the Beloved

With a kiss.

What can I give Him,

Poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd

I would bring a lamb;

If I were a wise man

I would do my part;

Yet what I can, I give Him

Give my heart.

Other notable lines/phrases:

He came down to earth from heaven,

Who is God and Lord of all,

And his shelter was a stable,

And his cradle was a stall;

With the poor, and mean, and lowly,

Lived on earth our Savior holy.

And our eyes at last shall see him,

Through his own redeeming love;

For that child so dear and gentle

Is our Lord in heav’n above,

And he leads his children on

To the place where he is gone.

(Once in Royal David’s City)

Be near me, Lord Jesus; I ask thee to stay

Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.

Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,

And fit us for heaven to live with thee there.

(Away in a Manager)

How silently, how silently

The wondrous gift is giv’n!

So God imparts to human hearts

The blessings of his heav’n.

No ear may hear his coming;

But in this world of sin,

Where meek souls will receive him, still

The dear Christ enters in.

(O Little Town of Bethlehem)

Hail the heav’n-born Prince of Peace!

Hail the Son of Righteousness!

Light and life to all he brings,

Ris’n with healing in his wings.

Mild he lays his glory by,

Born that man no more may die;

Born to raise the sons of earth,

Born to give them second birth.

(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)

Ring in the valiant men and free,

The larger heart, the kindlier hand.

Ring out the darkness of the land;

Ring in the Christ that is to be.

Ring out the darkness of the land;

Ring in the Christ that is to be.

(Ring Out, Wild Bells)

What child is this, who, laid to rest,

On Mary’s lap is sleeping?

Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,

While shepherds watch are keeping?

This, this is Christ the King,

Whom shepherds guard and angels sing:

Haste, haste to bring Him laud,

The babe, the son of Mary.

(What Child is This)

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free

Thine own from Satan’s tyranny

From depths of Hell Thy people save

And give them victory o’er the grave

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night

And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee, O Israel.

(O Come O Come Emmanuel)

Come, thou long expected Jesus,

Born to set thy people free;

From our fears and sins release us,

Let us find our rest in thee.

Israel’s strength and consolation,

Hope of all the earth thou art;

Dear desire of every nation,

Joy of every longing heart.

Born thy people to deliver,

Born a child and yet a King,

Born to reign in us forever,

Now thy gracious kingdom bring.

By thine own eternal spirit

Rule in all our hearts alone;

By thine all sufficient merit,

Raise us to thy glorious throne

(Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus)

Notes

1 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_Holy_Night

Less is More in Christmas Math

04 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Christmas, Math

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When we think of the greatest events in history, and we categorize them based on attendance and/or statistical viewing and ratings that are monitored by people with computers and calculators and stuff like that – we get an idea of how many people across the world tune in their TV’s for certain events. The following table represents one report of the 10 most watched television broadcasts on earth:¹

Keep in mind the population of the world today is estimated to be over 7.2 billion,² so if 2 billion people watched a single event, that’s pretty good – in fact, that’s nearly 30% of the entire world. That’s a lot of people watching the same thing. For reference, approximately 111 million people have tuned in for the Super Bowl the past 5 years.³ Of those millions, there is likely a high percentage of those viewers that recorded the events for repeated viewing or sharing via DVR or other similar devices, not to mention the recordings that have been made and are available online or in packages of various types. This allows these events to live on in history, in a very real and visual way – extending their viewership even further than what is listed above.

Whether or not you think the 10 most watched events as reported above are great or not, they provide us with some statistical data to review, especially when we reference and contrast them with one of the absolutely greatest events⁴ in this world’s history; the birth of Jesus Christ.⁵

The birth of our savior was witnessed by only a few privileged enough to see it with their mortal eyes, along with some humble, yet very lucky animals.

There was not a single recording of this birth event made, and thus made available on DVR, DVD, or online⁶ that we as mortals can view – no matter how much we’d like to. But, I would suggest that there were more people watching this great event – and watching with more rapt attention – than any statistical group would ever be able to measure. I like to think of the “heavenly host” which appeared suddenly to the shepherds [with the angel] that said “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men” as referenced in Luke chapter 2 (vs. 13-14) as part of the witnessing party to that first great event. I like to think of my pre-mortal self as part of that ‘host’ and I like to think that the ‘heavenly host’ was indeed immeasurable, innumerable, or without number.

This viewing demographic just wasn’t of the mortal type. The host without number was not a group of mortal beings with mortal eyes seen by other mortal beings, but it was a group every bit as real as the viewers who watched any super bowl, sporting event, or political event here on this earth. In fact, the number of viewers watching the truly great events that are recorded in the list above is probably an accurate number, since the immortal world likely has little to no interest in most of the events documented there. However, the inverse of that trend would continue in the things that really matter, as immortals tend to view (in higher and higher numbers) the events that are truly great, but are not thought to be so, and thus not recorded as such, by the world. Therefore, the seemingly unimportant or unheralded events, are in fact those witnessed by the most viewers, they just aren’t mortal viewers that can be tracked online or through a TV viewing poll.

This illustrates the skewed way in which we often think of ‘great events’ or at least in how they are measured by worldly standards. We cannot and should not think if ‘great events’ as determined by the number of mortals that are aware of the event, or how many ‘views’ it has on real TV, YouTube or any other social media site. We can liken this to ourselves and can rest assured that our ‘greatest events’ are the ones that are witnessed by few mortal eyes, if any at all. We can also rest assured that our ‘greatest events’ are inversely the ones that are witnessed by hosts of immortal eyes that are immeasurable, innumerable, and potentially without number. These ‘great events’ are very often the most basic and simple everyday activities that have power to change a heart, save a life, and therefore change the world. These are also the very events that turn the tide for our families and us in the great battle between good and evil. This is our blessing and our challenge every day here on the earth.

We can also be very confident, that this great birth scene (and many of our great events) indeed have been and are recorded in the book of life, and can be viewed by those who are privileged enough to be shown the vision(s).⁷ Someday whether in life or death or with our mortal or immortal eyes – and if it suits the needs of the Lord to further his purposes – we can be blessed with the privilege of viewing the actual birth of our Savior; the very first Christmas or any number of other ‘great events’ as it furthers the impact of the spirit on each of us, and motivates us to do the most good in his kingdom, and to become more like him.

Let us remember that we do the most good at home where nobody sees us, and where there is no fanfare, no press coverage, no interviews, and little acclaim. We are doing the most good when it appears as if nobody is even paying attention, just like the Savior did.

Notes

1 See http://www.worldlistmania.com/most-watched-television-events-world/

2 http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

3 2014 http://www.ibtimes.com/super-bowl-2014-ratings-how-many-people-watched-seattle-seahawks-vs-denver-broncos-1552989

2013 http://www.ibtimes.com/super-bowl-2013-how-many-people-watched-baltimore-ravens-over-san-francisco-49ers-1060698

2012 http://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2012/02/million-people-watched-super-bowl-113632.html

2011 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/07/super-bowl-2011-ratings-s_n_819559.html

2010 http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/02/08/super-bowl-gets-1065-million-viewers-most-in-american-tv-history/

4 This may sound like my opinion, but whether or not you or I or anyone else believes it or feels differently about the ranking of the greatest events in history, the truth is what it is, and it will not change based on anyone’s opinion. Thus, I have left it as an absolute since inspired men and scriptures call these events the greatest. In addition, whether you believe in the atonement, or choose to apply its healing and enabling powers or not, that does not diminish or change that fact that Jesus Christ did in fact come to earth, and that the events that took place as mentioned above made every other event on the earth possible, including the joy, pleasure, pain, and love that we feel when we experience any other type of event.

5 This gift, the birth of Jesus Christ, and his subsequent atonement in its truest sense also encompasses the crucifixion, and the following resurrection. And really, encompasses the entire life and mission of Jesus Christ since his coming to earth was in order to complete the atonement and make salvation possible through repentance and obedience to his gospel.

6 There has obviously been several videos, movies, clips, etc. made to depict the birth of Christ, but my point here is the actual (live) event was not recorded and is not available to be viewed in the way we think when we ‘watch movies’.

7 Several prophets were shown the birth in vision in order to prophesy of his coming/birth. There are too many to mention by name – so I will not make an attempt. For a complete list and explanation of all of them, see “The Promised Messiah” by Bruce R. McConkie.

Receiving Gifts

02 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Christmas, Gifts

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Many people, stories, talks, blog posts, commentaries, thoughts, etc. this Christmas season will likely turn and encourage all of us to spend a bit more time sharing or giving gifts, but since I am selfish I will focus this particular post on the act of receiving gifts this Christmas season. And not just receiving gifts when they are packaged up nicely with a bow, but also rummaging through the house looking for them.

In one of the most amazing revelations ever given the Lord Himself declared “…they shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received. For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift”.¹

To make the point of receiving gifts even more clearly at the outset, I think it is appropriate to make a list, since lists are always appropriate.

We can only enjoythat which we are willing to receive. This statement is made very clear, by indicating that those who do not enjoy the gifts of the celestial kingdom, do (not) so by their own choice, since they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received. Yet for us to understand this statement, we must define ‘enjoy’, and we must understand the use of ‘willing’ in this sentence.
The best definition for enjoy is “to have and usewith satisfaction or joy”. The critical term ‘and use’ indicates that there is some action of difference between simply having, and actually using that creates the state that can be termed ‘enjoy[ment]’. After all, we’ve all been given gifts that we ‘have’ (you know, the ones sitting in a box on the shelf in the garage…in its original package) and we’ve all been given gifts that we have and use. That is the difference, and with that we can understand the word ‘enjoy’.
The footnote in verse 32 (b) for ‘willing’ indicates a study of the word ‘agency’ or ‘choice’.

With the understanding of item 1 (on our list), we could perhaps re-phrase verse 32 to read something like this: “…they shall return again to their own place, [to have and use with satisfaction and joy] that which they [chose] to receive, because they did not [choose] [to have and use with satisfaction and joy] that which they might have received. For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift?

I know the answer, and the answer is nothing.

I am going to throw my two youngest sisters and under the bus now, and I don’t feel too bad about it because 1) the older of my two sisters is currently on a mission in Tijjana, Mexico, and the younger of the two leaves tomorrow for her mission in Tokyo, Japan; 2) they are both awesome and amazing and probably won’t read this blog post anyway²; and 3) it provides me with an excellent example to illustrate this point.

Backstory: For Christmas last year, I gave each of my 7 siblings, plus each of my parents a book. The book I gave the 4 sisters was the same, but the note that I wrote in the front was personalized, and indicated why I thought they should read it, or what they could hope to gain from reading it. It was a book that I had read and that I thought would help them a great deal with life, lessons, and the gospel. I thought that if they read it, they could learn a lot of things, just like I had learned. A couple of months ago, while at my parent’s house, I happened upon a bookshelf (in my sisters room – the one in Tijuana) – where I spotted the book that I had given her for Christmas. I naturally grabbed it, opened it up and fully expected to see markings, highlights, insights, and many documented proofs of her great love and appreciation for the book that I had given her. What I did see was her bookmark located about page 3 of the book. I won’t lie, I did not feel like she had ‘received the gift’ and therefore had not ‘profited’ by reading it. Then, only a few weeks later, we were staying at my parents house again and we happened to be in my youngest sisters room – where I beheld on her book shelf the book that I had given her for Christmas – and the same sad story was repeated.³

Verse 33 of this passage also highlights two more lessons that we must know in order to properly receive a gift. They are also best explained by a list, which identifies the missed opportunities if we “receive not the gift”:

He rejoices not in that which is givenunto him
Neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift

I imagine we can all think of a gift that we have either received or that has been given by us, that has been used with satisfaction or joy. These types of gifts, allow both the giver and the receiver “to understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together”.⁴ The opposite of this potential joy as described above, is the lack of enjoyment, rejoicing, and satisfaction that can only come with the active receiving of gifts (like the book I gave my sisters).

Therefore, my purpose in this post – and in the making of lists to highlight important positive and negative consequences – is to make sure that this Christmas season, all of us focus on becoming the best gift receivers that we can be. Because after all, by being great gift receivers, we can 1) “rejoice in that which is given” and 2) “rejoice in him who is the giver of the gift”. In order to accomplish this feat, there are three critical objectives necessary for gift receiving:

Recognizethat which is given

Our first objective in becoming great gift receivers is to recognize “that which is given”. At this point, I could try to come up with some fancy words, or great points (or lists) to make about the best gift, but someone much more talented than me has already done it. So, as a very real motivation and invitation to proclaim (discover, embrace, and share) the greatest gift this Christmas season, please go here to recognize “that which is given” to each of us. Once we have recognized what has been given, it allows us to truly “rejoice in him who is the giver of the gift”.

Much has been said, and much will continue to be said about this gift, and the giver of this amazing gift, and it is literally the gift that keeps on giving. It is the source of all other gifts, the source of all joy, all light, all hope, and all love, and this gift gets better with age and with increased use as we personalize and “use it with satisfaction”. The gift of a savior is the most loving, caring, wise, and needful thing that could ever be given. “At the very core of our mortal probation is the choice to receive Jesus as the Christ”.⁵

Seek for more gifts

Our second objective in becoming great gift receivers is to continually want more gifts. That shouldn’t be hard right? I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a child tell me on Christmas that they were tired of receiving gifts. We can have more and more gifts too; we just need to know how and where to find them. “No message appears in scripture more times, in more ways than, ask, and ye shall receive”.⁶ And not only is it an invitation, but “each of us accepts a sacred and ongoing responsibility to desire, to seek, to work, and to live that we indeed receive…”.⁷ At this point, we are even encouraged to become a bit greedy – supported by the commandments to “lay hold upon every good gift,”⁸ “Seek ye earnestly the best gifts”,⁹ and even “Covet earnestly the best gifts”.¹⁰

The best gifts include “long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, love unfeigned, kindness, pure knowledge”,¹¹ unshakeable faith and/or testimony¹², or maybe even “his image in our countenance”.¹³ But, perhaps more than anything, we should “covet earnestly” His unselfish and infinite love. We should seek for it, lay hold upon it, and covet it earnestly. It should be noted again here that the Lord himself said “seek ye diligently and ye shall find me; ask and ye shall receive”.¹⁴ Perhaps this is the process that Alma and Enos followed, because they both indicate that they also ‘received’ a remission of their sins.¹⁵

The Father’s gift of His son, and Jesus Christ’s gift of His life (His atonement and His declaration of love) are Their gift to us. Let that gift sink in. Appreciate it. Savor it. Let it change us. Let it help us. Let it give us peace. Let it calm our troubled hearts.¹⁶ Let it bless us. Let it feed our hungry souls. Let it bless in time of need.¹⁷ Enjoy it (let us have it and use it for our satisfaction). Let us feel grateful for it. Let us share it. Let it move us to action. Let it change our hearts and our eyes so that we can see as He sees.

Give it away

The last and maybe most important element in becoming great gift receivers – is the understanding that in order to fully receive anything it is necessary to give it away. While this may seem like an opposite, the truth is that giving is in fact the truest form of receiving. So, in all of our seeking, coveting, and asking for gifts, let it be understood that we should be giving them all away in order to fully receive them. Let us covet his love so that we can give it away freely. Let us covet our free will so that we can voluntarily submit and place it on God’s altar as the only uniquely personal thing that we have to offer.¹⁸

How silently, how silently

The wondrous gift is giv’n

So God imparts to human hearts

The blessings of his heav’n

No ear may hear his coming

But in this world of sin

Where meek souls will receive him

The dear Christ enters in¹⁹

Let us rejoice in Him who is the giver of the gift by receiving His love and His gift and helping Him to give it away.

#ShareTheGift

Notes

1 D&C 88:32-33

2 Dear Kaitlyn and Kallie, if you read this years from now, or really any time at all. Know that I love you and think you are both amazing. In addition, I realize that I am just as much at fault in this story, if I presented you with a gift that you did not ‘choose’ to receive because it wasn’t what you wanted (even though I may have thought you needed it) at the time. Maybe someday you will read it and we can rejoice together.

3 It should be noted that Kaitlyn and Kallie are the only siblings that I have proof of not reading my gift from last Christmas – it could be possible that the other two sisters, and my parents have failed to read the books that I gave them for Christmas as well. I refuse to believe however that my three brothers didn’t read the book that I gave them, because if they didn’t It would be a personal insult to everything that I hold dear, and since they are fellow writers on this blog, I hold them to a much higher standard than anyone else.

4 D&C 50:22

5 See “Receiving by The Spirit”, by A. Roger Merrill – October 2006

6 See “Reverence Invites Revelation”, by Boyd K. Packer – October 1991. He also lists Matt. 21:22; James 4:3; 1 Jn. 3:22; 1 Ne. 15:11; Enos 1:15; Mosiah 4:21; D&C 4:7; and Moses 6:52 as examples of this.

7 See “Receive the Holy Ghost”, by David A. Bednar, October 2010

8 See Moroni 10

9 See D&C 46

10 1 Cor. 13:31

11 See D&C 121:41-42

12 See Enos 1:11, Mormon 9:28, 2 Ne. 31:19, and Jacob 7:5.

13 Alma 5:14

14 D&C 88:63

15 See Alma 38:8 and Enos 1:2

16 See Hymn 136 “I Know That My Redeemer Lives”

17 Ibid.

18 See “Swallowed up in the Will of The Father”, by Neal A. Maxwell, October 1995

19 See Hymn 208 “O Little Town of Bethlehem”

Introduction to December

01 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Christmas

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Some stories never get old – and the Christmas story is one of those stories. It seems like every year, we forget how amazing of a story it really is.

The month of December starts today. It is the month that the world celebrates the birth of our Savior by gathering as friends and families and by giving gifts to those we love. It’s also the month that we listen to Christmas music and get reminded of silent nights, holy nights, drummer boys, angels singing from on high, peace on earth, joy to the earth, glorias, bleak midwinters, manger stalls, carols of bells, noels, hallelujahs, gleaming stars, merry gentlemen, midnight clears, Judea’s plains, and David’s city. Each of which remind us of a small child wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. It is a month when the world tries to share a little more love, a little more peace, a little more joy, and is generally a little more humbled by the amazing Christmas story.

We – the writers of this blog – are therefore focusing each entry this month on this amazing story. The story that is the birth of the most amazing story of all. We hope that the entries this month will help you feel the true spirit of Christmas, and the true reason for all of us celebrating the greatest gift that has ever been given.

Flaming S-Words

25 Tuesday Nov 2014

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Battle, Swords, Words

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Many of us are impacted in marvelous ways by great and powerful words. Sometimes these words are spoken and heard, other times they are written and read. Sometimes these words are eloquent and fancy, and sometimes they are very plain – even “as plain as word can be”.¹

Many of us relate to and are inspired by those who have the gift of delivering these words, some verbally, some written. We see and experience the sensation they have caused to take place within our hearts and wish that we could share this great power and to be able to affect others in the same way that we have been affected. Many of us wish that we could also write with this great power and have it impact readers with truly great power, and not only that – but that our words could fill the earth and be read on the mountaintops in order to affect as many people as possible. I (like Alma) have this wish (see Alma 29:1). Not only do I have this wish, I have a terrorizing fear of not being granted this wish.

I see and recognize many who have this gift – and I look up to them and want to be like them. Some of these ancient scripture heroes include Nephi, Abinidi, Alma, Enoch, Nephi and Lehi (sons of Helaman), Nephi (grandson of Helaman), and many more modern heroes including Bruce R. McConkie, Spencer W. Kimball, Gordon B. Hinckley, Neal A. Maxwell, all of the current apostles, and so many of the current authors of amazing books that are available (this list is long). Some of these people have been instrumental in my understanding important and fundamental things – such as my mission president. He truly spoke with ‘great power and authority’ and to this day his words, and even the sound of his voice have that affect on my heart. These leaders all share a common gift in the sense that they can speak ‘with great power and authority’², which raises the question: How? There must be a method or pattern that allows for that power to be gained and infused into their words.

Nephi explained that after we have received the Holy Ghost, we can “speak with the tongue of angels” but directly after that statement asked his readers “how could ye speak with the tongue of angels save it were by the Holy Ghost”? ² He continues: “Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost, wherefore they speak the words of Christ”.³ This means they speak the actual words of Christ. What this means for any and all who have perfected this method, and any and all of us who are trying to develop this talent, is that we don’t get to decide which words have power. We don’t get to decide or prepare or determine the best phrase, manner, or method of delivering the message. If we are to be effective teachers, talkers, or writers, our most important and effective tool is to listen to, understand, and submit to the power of the Holy Ghost as it directs us to the choice of correct words, sentences, phrases, and topics. In other words – in order to speak with power, we need to listen with power. We need to seek, learn, and understand His word. We need to feast upon the existing words of Christ (See 2 Ne. 32:3).

The process (many great and powerful speakers not using their own words, but those directed by the spirit) may seem counter-intuitive, or a bit of a disappointment, but as Nephi explains ‘if ye cannot understand…it will be because ye ask not, neither do ye knock; wherefore ye are not brought into the light’.⁴ We must be brought into the light during the preparation stage if we ever hope to share that light, or to reach our audience during the delivery stage. How could it be any other way? We need to learn and understand this language when spoken to us if we ever hope to speak it to others. This helps that disappointment dissolve, because then we realize these great speakers/writers have exercised great faith and diligence in “seeking and obtaining the word, prior to their declaring of the word” (See D&C 11:21) unto us.

Once we’ve understood the necessity of this concept we are ready to understand the next phase of this process, which is that “when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men”.⁵ This relationship is the key to understanding why some words affect us so powerfully – because they were spoken (or written) “by the power of the Holy Ghost”, and they were then carried “by the power of the Holy Ghost” directly unto our hearts. We can then further that teaching power when we understand that as listeners or readers, the only way to truly understand these words, is by that same power – receiving those words by the power of the Holy Ghost.5.5

That is the only way to speak with “a voice of thunder” or with “great power and authority”. When these processes are working together (a teacher submitting and speaking by the power of the Holy Ghost, and then the Holy Ghost carrying these words unto the hearts of their listeners), that is when the words become “the words of Christ”.⁶ The actual, literal, exact, specific “words of Christ” that He would have said if He were present himself. This is why some words have such power. This is why some words are mighty. This is why some words “cutteth to the very center”. This is why some words can “make the earth to tremble”. This is why people can speak as if it were “with a voice of thunder”. This is why the preaching of the word has “a more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else” and this is why “in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”.⁷

I can speak, write, or express my own words, my own opinions, and my own thoughts all day long – but until I speak “by the power of the Holy Ghost” and it’s carried “by the power of the Holy Ghost” unto your heart – it will not affect you in the way that I want it to. It cannot be done. All effective teaching (the kind that is truly powerful) is given, carried, and received “by the power of the Holy Ghost”.

On the other side of the coin – especially since Nephi includes us in his guidance – let us examine ourselves as listeners, readers, pupils, or other recipients of those who are speaking the “words of Christ” to us. If we want to be affected in the way that our leaders, teachers, and writers would have us be affected – let us believe. Let us open our ears to hear and our hearts to understand. After all – the Holy Ghost carries the message unto our hearts, not unto our ears or unto our minds. Let us listen, and if we do, “Christ will show unto us, with power and great glory, that they are his words”⁸ and we can know of a surety that Christ himself – by His very word – has spoken to us individually.

When this is understood, the scriptures can take on new and increased meaning, conference can take on a new meaning, receiving and giving priesthood blessings can take on a new meaning, the Ensign can take on new meaning, and each Sunday at church (and especially during the sacrament) should take on a new, much more powerful meaning. When we truly understand that what was prepared and what is being spoken by the spirit are the actual “words of Christ” let us remember that He Himself has also said “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same”. ⁹

The heroes that I admire so much mentioned above were (or are) able to receive, understand, and relay the actual words of Christ – in order to deliver them in a manner with “great power and authority”. Their words – and the words of many others have been “carried unto my heart” by that same power and authority, and I love them.

With that preface, and my love for words (spoken and written) – and my sincere desire to use them effectively, let us make a connection that I had previously missed – the connection between words, s-words, and finally, flaming s-words.

Let’s identify the classic battle armor as described in Ephesians 6 (verses 11-17) and D&C 27 (verses 15-18).

Girdle of Truth
Breastplate of Righteousness
Shoes (feed shod) with the preparation of the gospel of peace
Shield of Faith
Helmet of Salvation
Sword of the Spirit – which is the word of God

When we think of swords, we think of protection, strength, and battle, which are all correct symbols of the sword. But, “the sword also symbolizes discernment, and that which separates”.¹⁰ Think of Ammon separating an arm from a body, think of Nephi or David separating a head from a body, think of a sharp “two-edged sword, to the dividing asunder of both joints and marrow”.¹¹ Think of the only offensive weapon* listed above, and you will know that which separates. The first 5 items on the list are to protect us from “the wiles of the devil” and “the fiery darts of the wicked”, but when it comes time to divide asunder, we need a sword. Not just any sword, but a sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. These s-words, are the very words that we speak, hear, feel, obey, receive, and covenant by the power of the Holy Ghost. It cannot be otherwise. These are s-words that have power to separate. These are s-words that offend some and bring tears of joy to others; these are s-words that make some men furious and some men faint with a desire to repent. These are s-words that divide asunder. These are s-words that separate in a very real sense.

We all know that swords are just plain awesome, but what if we were to take our sword – the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God – and actually light it on fire? It becomes a flaming sword. Not flaming with mortal fire or temporal fire, but with celestial fire. Yes! The already awesome sword was just magnified by an exponential factor of 1,000. “Flames are a manifestation of the godly or celestial nature of a thing. They represent holiness, illumination, inspiration, enlightenment, and purification”.¹²They can also serve as a symbol of God’s presence. God’s presence on my sword? Yes indeed.

“The symbolism of the sword as the word of God is enshrined in the word Sword, i.e. se-word or is-word [meaning] the Fire or Light of the Word. The Anglo-Saxon for a sword was seax [which meant] “the Fire of the great Fire.” Similarly the Italian spada resolves into sepada [which translates] the Fire of the Shining Father, and the German sabel into Fire of Bel. “Thus it appears that in [the s-words, and] the flaming s-words we have a symbol of the celestial and divinely revealed words, commands, or covenants used to discern, protect, and separate the righteous from the disobedient”.¹³ Words, covenants, teachings, and revelations (literal and figurative flaming swords made effective by the power of the Holy Ghost) that “cutteth to the very center”, even to the “dividing asunder of both joints and marrow”. These flaming s-words, as they separate the wicked from the righteous, could also be the same sword referenced in Helaman and Alma as the “sword of justice”¹⁴ – “and the brightness thereof was like unto the brightness of a flaming fire, which ascendeth up unto God forever and ever, and hath no end”.¹⁵

I don’t know about you, but when I take a sword into battle – especially if it’s the lone offensive* tool I have at my disposal – I want a sword, a sharp sword, AND I want one that is literally on fire – with unquenchable flames that ascend up unto God that hath no end. Those are the words, s-words, and flaming s-words that I am striving to utilize.

Let us be humble, let us strive to “obtain the word, so that we can declare the word” as directed by the one force that can actually give power to our words –by the power of the Holy Ghost. Let us live and strive to be worthy of the Holy Ghost and His “constant companionship”¹⁶ so that our s-words can be as sharp and flaming as possible.

1 2 Ne. 32:7 – And now I, Nephi, cannot say more; the Spirit stoppeth mine utterance, and I am left to mourn because of the unbelief, and the wickedness, and the ignorance, and the stiffneckedness of men; for they will not search knowledge, nor understand great knowledge, when it is given unto them in plainness, even as plain as word can be.

2 2 Ne. 32:2 – Do ye not remember that I said unto you that after ye had received the Holy Ghost ye could speak with the tongue of angels? And now, how could ye speak with the tongue of angels save it were by the Holy Ghost?

3 2 Ne. 32:3 – Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.

4 2 Ne. 32:4 – Wherefore, now after I have spoken these words, if ye cannot understand them it will be because ye ask not, neither do ye knock; wherefore, ye are not brought into the light, but must perish in the dark.

5 2 Ne. 33:1 – And now I, Nephi, cannot write all the things which were taught among my people; neither am I mighty in writing, like unto speaking; for when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.

^{5.5 2 Ne. 26:13 –}…he manifesteth himself unto all those who believe in him, by the power of the Holy Ghost; yea, unto every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, working mighty miracles, signs, and wonders, among the children of men according to their faith.

6 2 Ne. 32:3 – Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.

7 John 1:1 – In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

8 2 Ne. 33:11 – And if they are not the words of Christ, judge ye—for Christ will show unto you, with power and great glory, that they are his words, at the last day; and you and I shall stand face to face before his bar; and ye shall know that I have been commanded of him to write these things, notwithstanding my weakness.

9 D&C 1:38 – What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.

10 See ‘Gospel Symbolism’ by Joseph Fielding McConkie – pg. 272

11: See D&C 6:2 – ‘Behold, I am God; give heed unto my word, which is quick and powerful, sharper than a two-edged sword, to the dividing asunder of both joints and marrow; therefore give heed unto my words’. Note the added emphasis to give heed to the words when they are indeed ‘his words’.

See also Hebrews 4:12 – For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

12 See ‘Gospel Symbolism’ by Joseph Fielding McConkie – pg. 272

13 See ‘The Lost Language of Symbolism’ by Alonzo Gaskill – pgs. 299-300

14 See Helaman 13:5 – …the sword of justice hangeth over this people,..

See also Alma 26:19 – …why did he not let the sword of justice fall upon us…

See also Alma 60:29 – …the sword of justice doth hang over you, and it shall fall upon you and visit you even to your utter destruction.

15 1 Ne. 15:30 – And I said unto them that our father also saw that the justice of God (corresponds to the previously cited scriptures in note 14) did also divide the wicked from the righteous; and the brightness thereof was like unto the brightness of a flaming fire, which ascendeth up unto God forever and ever, and hath no end.

16 D&C 121:46 – The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and they scepter and unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth…

See also D&C 20:77 (or Moroni 4:3) – O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it, that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them; that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.

See also D&C 20:79 (or Moroni 5:2)- O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls of all those who drink of it, that they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them; that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them. Amen
* Please click here for a post that may be helpful as it relates to offense vs. defense.

Things As They Really Are

23 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Humility, Pride

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A long time ago when I was young(er) and foolish(er) I had a job interview that I can recall with unsettling clarity. The reasons for which I can remember this interview are varied – and no doubt one of them is so that I can tell this story (so that you can learn to be more wise than me)¹to illustrate my shortcomings and for you to really wonder how on earth someone could act in such a way – ever. Another reason for my vivid recollection could be to ensure that I learn something (likely many things) from that debacle and to make sure that it is never repeated.

This interview happened to be for a respectable company in Utah and the position was very appealing – especially to a young, recently returned missionary who had a just recently been married, and who was now expected to be the breadwinner for his family by gaining a solid employment to support said family. This particular position offered reimbursment for college tuition, as well as a very competitive wage, benefits package, and was very flexible. Basically, this was a college student’s dream job.

The department supervisor (not the direct supervisor for this position) was someone that knew our family growing up, and had been my primary teacher in earlier years. The fact that this former teacher of mine would suggest me for a position under his general supervision speaks volumes to his patience and discernment (he knew that I needed his help more than he needed mine), and maybe just a bit to his desire for self inflicted punishment, given the relentless barrage of pre-teen angst and immaturity that he was exposed to week after week in Sunday school. To this day I wonder how he managed to survive that class. It must be known here (back to the interview) that my older brother Colby was currently working in this department and had established some credibility and dependence for the Alexander name.

The time for the interview came, and I arrived and went into the supervisor’s office, and there sat the two individuals that I needed to convince. I needed to convince them that I was the best one for the job, that I was the worker they needed, and that I would bring whatever they were looking for to the table (this is a typical job interview approach right)? Keep in mind – again – before I describe the train wreck, that I was young(er) and foolish(er) than I am now, and that this was in all reality my very first real job interview ever. Apparently I had previously convinced myself that the best approach to this interview was to wow them with my abilities, my confidence, and my charisma because what happened has no other explanation.

The one supervisor knew me, and by knowing me, knew a little about what some of my strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, and potential was/were, but the second interviewer (the direct supervisor) did not know me at all, and his only impression(s) of me would be what he gleaned during the interview itself. He (the one who did not know me) started asking me some questions, and I answered them boldly, confidently, and assuredly telling them that I was the best candidate for this position that they would ever hope to find, even if they searched the whole earth – literally. Other questions were asked to which I responded in the most self-confident way that there never has been, could be, or would be a better candidate for this or any other job at this company in any department, ever. At this point, if you asked the supervisor what he thought or how he felt about me (as the candidate) he would likely say something like “well, he is pretty sure of himself, let’s see what he says when I ask him about his weaknesses” – so that’s what he did. He asked me what some (plural) of my weaknesses were to which I replied frankly “I don’t have any of those”. This brought a chuckle (likely a nervous, I don’t believe this is really happening but I’ll still giggle due to sheer panic) from my former primary teacher, and a simple smile from the interviewer, but he pressed me and asked a bit more firmly “what do you think some of your weaknesses could be”? My reply to this day makes me cringe; I said “well, if I had to list a weakness, it might actually be that I don’t have any weaknesses”.

What happened next is easy to guess. The interviewer said, thank you, indicated that he would let me know and saw me out. I was (at that point in time) thinking to myself ‘nailed it’. It wasn’t even until my primary teacher friend asked me if I was crazy (the actual language that he used in not suitable for this blog) that I even thought twice about it. He then proceeded to give me a lesson on ‘real life’ where it is sort of important to not act like a 7 year old when you are in a job interview. Then I got nervous. Nervous enough that I started to wonder if ‘who I knew’ and was enough to overcome ‘what I knew’.

It was. I was miraculously given the job and was able to keep this great job through that tricky college/early family stage. This proved (for many other reasons) to be a huge blessing in my life that, including some that are still being realized today. I think I was even able to successfully parlay my childish, immature behavior into an actual strength for the department, and I think I was even able to convince the direct supervisor that I wasn’t a complete idiot….maybe. I honestly don’t know what he would say about me if you asked him today – or if he will EVER be able to forget my interview. I think maybe he went against his instinct and really did hire me out of sheer pity hoping for the best. Or, he might have said something to my friend (the non-interviewer former primary teacher) like one assistant coach said to the other in Rudy (the movie) “if you want him – he’s your problem” thinking to himself that it might be entertaining to watch me explode with incompetence.

The point of telling this story was to highlight a character trait that was lacking at that time – humility. And, if I’m being completely honest (and I am trying to be) – I think the lack of this trait (in it’s purest and truest form) really was and still is my biggest weakness – or at least one of them. Somewhere, Dan Morgan is nodding his head in approval of that last sentence (Dan Morgan is the name of the unnamed interviewer above).

I worked at that company for 5 glorious and frustrating years. My recollection of those 5 years was much more frustrating until about a year ago, when I started to see those years ‘as they really were’.² I am able now, to look back at the lessons learned with great satisfaction and intense joy. I had only missed them before because I wasn’t looking.

My lack of humility sometimes let’s me think that I am pretty hot stuff. That I am doing pretty darn good, and things are looking up for me. This pride progressed to the point where (2-3 months ago) – I was sure and confident in my status that I was ready to see ‘things as they really are’. This thought occupied my mind for weeks, and I let it consume me until one day when I woke up very early, headed to the temple before work, all the while expecting to see ‘things as they really are’.

What I had in my mind was the veil becoming completely invisible if not removed altogether, allowing me to (as others have) view the beginning from the end in all it’s glory, the heavens and the earth, all the angels on both sides, the sealed records, the lost records, the locations and history of the lost tribes. I thought I would meet and shake hands with everyone in heaven including all my heroes from the Book of Mormon, chat with the 3 Nephites, have them explain and expound the scriptures to me, essentially viewing anything and everything that I have ever wanted to and go home feeling pretty much satisfied with having achieved my objective which was seeing things as they really are. That’s a normal expectation right?

The most amazing thing occurred that day, and has continued to occur over the past several weeks. I have been shown ‘things as they really are’ just like I asked. I did indeed see things exactly how they really are, things as they have always been, and things as they always will be. They had always been there; I just wasn’t looking in the right place. I was looking ‘beyond the mark’.³ I sat down in the chapel that day (at the temple), for the 5:30 AM session and pleaded again to be shown ‘things as they really are’.

When I opened my eyes, to my disappointment and amazement I saw the organist playing the piano (I was on the very front row not 5 feet from him). This man – this amazing man – had physical deformities in his hands, and his legs, but had somehow roused himself out of bed pre 5:00 AM, got himself to the temple, dressed himself in his white clothing, and was playing the organ (with the foot pedals) despite the obvious and audible physical pain it caused him. I saw this amazing man serving prideful people like me, who come to the temple seeking answers, in the truest sense of the word. I saw him, and immediately knew (and realized) I was receiving a very real answer to my prayer in the very moment is was being offered, because that humble example of Christ-like service, from an anonymous organist, is a very real example of ‘things as they really are’. I was humbled.

I wish my pride stopped there – it doesn’t, but thankfully, neither do the lessons that the Lord gives me to help keep my pride from running amuck. I have seen things with my very eyes, that provide me with an ever-burning testimony in my bones of ‘things as they really are’. I have been shown (per my request) people on my street, in my neighborhood, and in my ward who are literal shining lights in a world of darkness. Shining lights that I (in my pride) had overlooked previously. I have sat in jr. primary (as a substitute teacher) and heard angel voices singing the most glorious primary songs – and felt the spirit as strongly as when the apostles teach. I have seen how the simple and weak things of the world are the mightiest of all – because of their humility, and because of the power of the spirit that they invite. I have seen these people every single week in church, serving, loving, and happy. I have seen ‘things as they really are’ over and over again – and I love it.

I used to feel like I was pretty hot stuff – but I realized (today again) that in my pride – I exclude myself from the joy and simplicity of truly powerful humility. This humility is now the strength that I seek. It allows us to feel closer to our Savior and his atonement, which will in turn lead us closer to others through service.

1 Mormon 9:31

2 See Jacob 4

3 Jacob 4:14

Successful Failures

17 Monday Nov 2014

Posted by Tyson Alexander in Failure, Opposition, Success

≈ 1 Comment

Sometimes in life, we fail. Sometimes we even fail miserably. But, I am convinced that for every single failure we experience – there is an increased opportunity for success. True failure only occurs if we miss the opportunity to make it a success. Heavenly Father sent us all down here to earth to be tested, and part of that test is experiencing a life completely full of failures (our own and others), which are really opportunities for improvement which cannot be learned or discovered any other way.

When Satan tempted Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, he no doubt thought that by getting them to partake of the forbidden fruit he would enjoy a success and that they would suffer a failure. Yet in reality, this was Adam and Eve’s greatest success – realizing that ‘man could be’¹ in no other way. I imagine that in that moment (or even the first few days and weeks), to Adam and Eve this great success might have felt a whole lot like a failure because they were driven out of the garden, the earth was cursed, and they were intimately introduced to bitterness, pain, sorrow, vice, and sickness. In addition, they had their sorrows ‘greatly multiplied’.² On the surface that doesn’t sound like success, yet we all know that we must experience these things in order to know (and choose) the sweet. Thus, we can understand that the event labeled as ‘the fall’ might be one of the greatest successes this world has ever known. It brought about physical life (as we know it) and activated agency and accountability.

Opposite Adam and Eve in the garden was Satan, who at first thought his subtlety -which resulted in their eating of the fruit – was a success (on his part), realized shortly thereafter that his perceived success resulted in God calmly informing him that the seed of the woman (made possible only by his enticing and their subsequent eating of the fruit) would have power to ‘crush his head’.³ Thus Satan achieved what he thought was a great success, only to understand later that it was in reality, a most glorious failure, one in which he helped facilitate his own demise. All of this came about because he (Satan) ‘knew not the mind of God’.⁴ The mind of God is ever working towards improving His Children, and there can be no doubt that He has prepared a successful outcome for each and every one of our failures.

The fall, as described above (even when viewed as a glowing success – which it is), did bring to pass negative things (physical and spiritual death). It brought about a separation from God, and in the world of eternal life – separation from God along with physical disease and death can be viewed as failures. Yet these conditions were necessary in order to require redemption. This cannot be overstated. The results of this perceived failure (along with many of our perceived failures) are the actual catalysts or pre-requisites for future success. You can’t fix it if it’s not broken, and in this sense a fixed person (redeemed or improved person) is much more than a non-broken (innocent or non-improved) person ever could be. The result of the fall created the requirement for a Savior. The requirement for a Savior resulted in the most amazing event in all of creation, where God’s own son, even Jesus Christ suffered the full weight of the world⁵ in order to redeem us all, which in turn, allows us to draw upon that power and become much better. This is the most monumental success the world will ever know, and it was all required because of a planned failure.

Shortly following the events in Gethsemane in which the Savior performed the miracle of all miracles, His mortal life came to an end. Jesus Christ was in no way taken, but offered Himself up willingly as the Lamb of God once His great work was completed. However, in the minds of many (especially at the time of Christ), they considered His capture and death to be a failure (something less than complete), at least in the sense that His ministry did not result in the immediate and successful convincing of the governmental leaders, and general population to the gospel. This perception could have been based in the fact that Christ had escaped their snares many times before – and been able to continue His ministry – but now it seemed as if all of the opposition to Jesus had finally overtaken Him. This perceived failure was in large part due to the lack of fully comprehending the magnitude and necessity of the events, the important role of Jesus Christ, and the promises that He had made.⁶ Similar to the atonement however, the perceived failure (which resulted in his crucifixion and death) was an absolute requirement for His next great success – the resurrection. In order for Christ to be resurrected, He had to die.

By defining ‘failure’ in our actions or events as ‘less than perfect’ or ‘there is some (or much) room for improvement’ we can better understand the process of learning from our mistakes, as well as the idea that our mistakes are a critical part of our success – if we learn from them. God has laid out this plan for us on earth, and he knew very well that every single one of us would be ‘less than perfect’ or that we would act in a way that ‘could be much improved’. Yet because of this knowledge, He has also prepared a way that because of our mistakes, we can have success. There is no way that we can become who we are meant to become without ‘growing up unto the Lord’.⁷ This includes making many mistakes, but it also includes the requirement to learn from those mistakes. It requires our constant and continuous use and application of the atonement. If we truly understand that the Lord can and will use us as tools to ‘do His work’ not despite our mistakes necessarily, but in large part because of our mistakes, since they are the very tools necessary to create true humility, reliance upon the Lord, and therefore true strength and power within each of us.⁸ If we can understand that process, then we can start to see our failures and our mistakes and what they are meant to be – lessons. Lessons planned out from ‘before the foundation of the world’ that have been tailored to us individually and collectively. The decision then becomes ours; whether or not we ‘will hear and know’. ⁹

Our lives are literally filled with opportunities to learn and during the times when it seems we are failing the most, it is likely the time when we can learn the most – if we are willing to be taught.

‘The Holy Ghost works in perfect unity with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, fulfilling several roles to help us live righteously’¹⁰ Some if not all of those roles are directly related to the process of teaching.¹¹ This role is often played ‘independent of any kind of formal teaching or learning setting’.¹² Thus, it is our own responsibility to be aware of learning opportunities, because the Holy Ghost never stops teaching. Being aware of these opportunities (in good times and bad) is a key element, because ‘one of the greatest acts of agency is the willingness to open our hearts to the promptings of the spirit… God allows us to be the guardians, or the gatekeepers, of our own hearts. We must, of our own free will, open our hearts to the Spirit, for even though He has a primary role to teach, He will not force Himself upon us. ¹² We should all be open to expanding our understanding of what we ourselves consider to be ‘formal teaching or learning settings’ so that we do not restrict ourselves from learning some of the most important lessons in life. We must not, and cannot ‘try to limit the functions of the Holy Ghost – not what He does, not where He does it, not when He does it, and not how He does it.¹⁴

I think when we truly understand this concept we can take a giant step forward by understanding that God is not necessarily frustrated with our failures, since He sees the end from the beginning and recognizes the process of learning as it being played out in our lives. He has created such a great plan, that it accounted for all of our failures, and uses them for our (and others’) successes. This is an amazing concept, one that I (sadly) did not recognize until recently. It doesn’t mean that the disappointments or discouragement with my own failures have evaporated, because they haven’t, but it does help me to understand that I should not dwell on them longer than is helpful, because God doesn’t. I should only use them to be humble, learn from them, and try and discover how I can turn the failure into a success, and then help other people to learn from my mistakes.¹⁵

An example of this concept is found in maybe the most well known and oft-quoted scripture in the LDS community, 1 Nephi 3:7 which reads ‘And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.’ I imagine the Lord thinking at the time – Nephi, I know that you and your brothers are going to go back to Jerusalem to get these plates, and you are going to fail…. twice.¹⁶ But, if you pay attention to what I say to you through the Spirit (during and after these failures), you will learn things that will help you not only now (being successful in getting the brass plates from Laban), but you will also learn some valuable lessons that will help you later because after you complete this long and hard journey, I am going to ask you and your brothers to go back to Jerusalem again.¹⁷ I don’t think that it is a coincidence that Nephi’s 2nd trip (going to get the family of Ishmael) – seemed to go a lot smoother than the 1st trip – at least until they were headed back to the wilderness when it was time for some more lessons. ¹⁸ This episode (the 2^nd trip) is also an illustration of the previous concept that the Holy Ghost will only teach us what we are willing to learn. It also is a repeat of the same process just explained in obtaining the brass plates, because during this 2^nd trip (on the way back from Jerusalem), Nephi was tied up and bound and suffered much at the hands of his brothers (failure), which happened to be a success because he learned how to rely on the Lord, and act for the next time(s) that they attempted to take his life, or bind him in their anger. This could also be a pattern for us, that any failures that we don’t learn from may be repeated until we learn the appropriate lesson and understand the reason for the failure.

So, next time we fail, or next time we are less than perfect, which for me will be about 1 second from now – let us remember that failure is an important part of success if we can keep our hearts open to the spirit and learn from the master teacher. This process of repeated failure also helps each of us with opportunities to practice forgiveness, love, and serving others, which are essential parts of our learning the art of becoming like Jesus Christ – which is the ultimate goal for all of us.

1 2 Ne. 2:25

2 Gen. 3:16. This scripture refers specifically to Eve, but I’ve left it in the plural connotation (they) intentionally because when a woman/wife experiences sorrow greatly multiplied, it also affects the husband. I am not claiming (in any way) that a husband shares in, or somehow helps shoulder the great physical pain (especially during the child bearing process), but I for one, am very much influenced by my wife’s moods and feelings (including pain).

3 Gen 3:15 (see footnote c)

4 Moses 4:6. This idea can be applied to the martyrdom of Joseph Smith, as well as any of the other prophets or disciples of Jesus Christ who have sealed their testimonies with their own lives. Perhaps that is the reason that the footnote d in this verse refers to John 16:1-3 which clearly explains that they (their moment of perceived success) who ‘killeth [them] will think that he doeth God service. And these things will they do unto [them], because they have not known the Father, nor me [Christ].’

5 See D&C 19:16-19

6 See the Topical Guide and Bible Dictionary under the topic ‘Jesus Christ, Resurrection’ for a complete listing of all scriptures in which The Lord himself (and many others) prophesied of his resurrection.

7 Hel. 3:21

8 See 2 Ne. 33:11, Ether 12:23-28; 37, D&C 50:16, and D&C 62:1. There is also the fact that we cannot do his work until we willingly choose to do his work, which is the starting point for all change.

9 See Alma 10:4-6

10 LDS.org topic ‘Holy Ghost’

11 Though this refers to ‘some’ of the roles related to teaching, all of the roles of the Holy Ghost are in one sense or another ‘teaching’. These include testifying, comforting, witnessing, enlightening, sanctifying, etc.

12 See “In Tune” by Gerald N. Lund pg. 36

13 Ibid. pg. 42-43. Read the whole book, it is fantastic. This concept is also explained very well by Elder David A. Bednar in his 3-book series ‘Increase in Learning, Act in Doctrine, and The Power to Become’ and in his talk ‘Seek Learning by Faith’ which was given to CES educators on Feb. 3, 2006.

14 Ibid. pg. 78 emphasis in original.

15 In reference to mistakes of a moral nature, if no other success is readily visible from the recognition of these mistakes other than the true Godly sorrow which leads to the cleansing and redemptive power of the atonement through the repentance process – that is a very real success.

16 The first failure is portrayed in 1 Ne. 3:11-14. The second failure is portrayed in 1 Ne. 3:22-27. The third attempt (success) is portrayed in 1 Ne. 4.

17 1 Ne. 7:2

18 1 Ne. 7:6-21.

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