Category Archives: Discernment

The Big Box Paradox and the Fable the Labels Enable

19 Friday Aug 2022

Posted by in Book of Mormon, Discernment, Fundamentals, General, Humility, Jesus Christ

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About a year ago, we upgraded the thermostats in our home from the simple little button kind to the fancy Google Home Nest version. They have no buttons, just a sheen face, and look really slick. Supposedly, these were the way to go because you could control every little thing from your phone. The app would allow you to change temperature, schedule the heat or cold during certain times of the day, and certain days of the week. I even got the impression that it could magically sense when you were home, or not, and adjust the temperature accordingly. I was excited.

Until I tried to set it up. I’m not a tech novice, but setting this thing up was not simple. I won’t even tell you how long it took. What’s worse, is that I had to refer to a youtube video to do it, and even then it took way too long. Eventually we got it sort of running.

Fast forward about 2 weeks and the thermostat in our main living area stopped working. No matter what we did, it gave an error message, which sent us to searching online message boards to discover it had no power source. Well, I had no idea how to fix that, so we went without, it wasnt too hot so we let it go.

Fast forward to yesterday, we had a maintenance check on the A/C units and I mentioned to the technician that we had been having this issue for several months, and to see if he could figure out what was wrong. Five minutes later, after running up to the attic, he informed me that a simple cord had been left unplugged, and that he plugged it in, and it should work like a charm.

Six months of summer struggle fixed in 30 seconds by plugging in a cord. Seems about right. I then spent the next 30 minutes re-learning how to program the system on YouTube and we are back to normal. Seems like a lot of extra complication to get back to the way it was before. Sometimes we complicate things that don’t necessarily need to be.

Life can also be complicated. Or, sometimes we can make it that way. Look at the title of this post, for example. There are likely 4,678 other titles that could better articulate my ideas in a much more concise, direct, and appealing way. But, instead, I went with the over-complicated, alliteration-attempting, tongue-twister version that no one can read through without getting a slight headache. I guess I should start listening to my own advise when picking post titles.

One of the most common ways we can overcomplicate our lives (besides upgrading to a Nest home thermostat) is in our quest to figure out exactly who we are. Our identity is inseparably connected to our purpose. And our purpose drives the decisions we make everyday. When we have a clear understanding of who we are, we have a clear purpose, and a clear path to our goals and destinations.

When we are fuzzy about who we are, our decisions, actions, and goals likewise can be complicated, ambiguous, and vague. We all want to fit in, and play our part in a meaningful life story. This aspiration is what drives us to determine who we really are, and where we really belong.

We all share this eagerness to belong. But, if we aren’t mindful, our uber-concentrated efforts to fit in somewhere, or anywhere, can fog our thought process, and overcomplicate our understanding of our most fundamental identity.

Dr Seuss’s Story about the Sneetches is a perfect example of this. When this overcomplication happens in our own lives, we may end up picking and choosing the fancy, or popular labels, identifyers, and metaphorical “stars” to stick on ourselves. These are often meant to help us feel like we belong, but can oftentimes overshadow and hide our true identity.

This leads us to the big question…

What is our purest, most fundamental identity?

What is the biggest “star”, or label we should be placing upon ourselves?

In our church, one of the first songs we learn as kids is a simple answer to this big question…

I Am a Child of God.

That is our truest identity. It is who we are underneath all the extra superficial fan-gear, hats, facepaint, stickers and labels. And, as a child of God, we have unlimited divine worth and potential. That is our shiniest star. That is who we are at our core.

When we understand and accept this identity, it informs and guides our actions. It gives us purpose, and an ultimate divine destination. Understanding and acting upon our true identity can help keep our lives simple, and help us focus on what is lasting and important.

Many of the secondary labels we affix to ourselves can be fun. I’ve labeled myself a Utah Ute, a Payson Lion, a wanna-be triathlete, and a Bosa buttermilk-donut-addict among many others. Most of the time, these “stars” we slap on ourselves are harmless. We get together with other similarly starred sneetches that look, think, and believe like us, and cheer for a team, enjoy a hobby, or stuff our faces with sugary scrumptiousness. But all these secondary labels are less important and should not be the determining factor on how we treat, or interact with other people in our families or society.

Not all labels are benign, however. Some Sneetch stars can be a problem. Whenever any label displaces or replaces our most important one, it weakens our clarity, understanding, and eventually the committment to our divine potential.

When these sneaky, popular and flashy stars start to drive our thoughts and actions, we begin to limit ourselves and our eternal growth. These ever-changing and morphing imposter stars supposedly meant to help us feel more included, instead become a hindrance, and a stumbling block in our development.

These labels or stars can overpower our persona. We can end up portraying ourselves as a wholesale representation of the label itself, instead of a person who enjoys that particular trait, hobby, or characteristic. We become the label, rather than the label representing just a small part of a larger, more complete, more comprehensive whole.

This is the Big Box Paradox. Our intent may be to gain acceptance and belonging into a larger community when we label ourselves a certain way. Instead, we end up further isolating ourselves and limiting ourselves into ever shrinking identity boxes. For example, when my primary label is “Yankees fan”, my prospects for making friends barricaded in the Red Sox box tend to get smaller. When my primary label is a “Militant Vegitarian”, it becomes a bit harder to hang out every weekend at the Brazilain Churrascaria with the “Meat Freaks”. It becomes even more intense and tenuous when these pre-packaged, and pre-labeled boxes become political, racial, or centered around many other hot-button cultural or societal issues.

Our society can be a true melting pot of these political, racial, cultural, and even spiritual identifiers, and still live together in mutual respect, love, and understanding. This becomes doable, only if we keep our identifying stars in the correct and proper order. It will work if we are committed to the things we have in common more than we are committed to our inevitable differences. That was the lesson the Sneetches had to learn!

These principles are not new or novel. They have been taught from the beginning.

King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon taught about the best Sneetch star thousands of years ago…

“And now, because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the children of Christ, his sons and daughters…I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ, all you that have entered into the covenant with God…” -Mosiah 5:7,8

The Psalmist was also on board…

“I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.“ -Psalms 82:6

It continues today, our prophet recently addressed this exact issue in a talk he gave to young adults…

“I am simply saying that no identifer should displace, replace, or take priority over these three enduring designations: child of God, child of the covenant, and disciple of Jesus Christ.”

Are we all there yet? Do we all avoid judging others or stereotyping others based on appearance, or perception? Maybe not. But, if we choose to take an honest new look at how we really perceive the world and the people who live in it, and try to see the value in others that lies underneath whatever stickers and labels they have on display, we can get a bit closer to that ideal.

Our goal should be to see others the same way God does. That is the standard. Nephi describes God’s inviting love for everyone, with all their different stars, in the Book of Mormon…

“…he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile.” -2 Nephi 26:33

Let’s try to stop looking at society as if it were a chaotic frenzy of spilled skittles needing to be sorted, labeled, and boxed according to outward appearances, beliefs, activities, actions, skin color, social, or cultural differences. Let’s all try and simplify our lives and focus on our true identity, and let the divine nature inside each of us all shine brightest to steer our thoughts and actions- and be more loving and kind to all the other Sneetches in the process.

The Overwhelming Importance of Tee Ball

02 Wednesday Dec 2015

Posted by in Discernment, General, Prophets

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One of the most difficult tasks in all of sports is to hit a good curveball. It comes at you traveling sometimes up to 90 miles an hour, from only about 60 feet away. You have only a split second to recognize the velocity and direction, make a decision on whether to swing or not, and then adjust your hands, wrists, arms, legs, and head to make contact with the ball. It takes years and years and hours and hours of practice to be able to do it with even a little bit of consistency. But for the most part, we would all look foolish standing in the batter’s box facing the worlds best pitchers and their wicked curveballs. The professional hitters often do.

So what would it take to get to where we could hit that curveball? It would take the same amount of time, effort, practice and experience that the best hitters in the world put in. But even they started with the basics. Tee Ball.

When kids start playing baseball, they’re usually tiny, and are just as interested in the butterfly’s floating in the outfield as they are with the bat and ball. But hitting is taught with the ball sitting stationary, on a tee, ready to be hit. Its simple, easy, and the perfect way to practice your swing.

As the years go by, and you become more experienced, hitting becomes more advanced and difficult, the coach pitches to you, then the other kids. Eventually those kids get older, better, grow muscles, and a mean streak, and pretty soon, instead of that friendly floating ball thats easy to hit, its a hurled projectile that may or may not have any control on it. sometimes its within the strike zone, and sometimes you duck to save your face.

After a while, the simple straight fast ball isn’t the only thing coming your way, its mixed with an off speed slower one, a curving bender, a sliding knee buckler, or the knuckleball that dances just like the butterflies from tee ball.

But with time, experience, practice and some luck, you can still hit them. Even the best pitches can be hit. Even though at times it seems nearly impossible. But one thing is for sure, if you haven’t practiced, or seen them before, your chances are slim. You may even have a slight heart attack simply watching the pitch scream towards you.

The same concept is playing out today in our society. Especially in a spiritual sense. Our opposition in society is throwing curveballs, sliders, knuckleballs, and a nasty heater almost every pitch. But it seems like not all of us have put in the time, and practice to have a reasonable shot at fending off those pitches and being successful at the plate.

We need to go back to basics. back to Tee Ball.

When we were little, in primary, we all learned the how to do what our Heavenly Father asks of us. Choose the right, follow the prophet, love one another, and love God. We learned who we were, and what our purpose on earth is. The gospel was taught in a simple way that was simple to understand. It was tee ball.

As we grow older, life seemingly gets a little more complicated. But the basics are still the same, just like keeping our eyes on the ball, taking a smooth step, and having a level swing. We still need to love God, love our neighbor, choose the right, follow the council of the prophets, and recognize who we are, and why we are here.

The game changes as we grow older spiritually as well. Just as in baseball,  the opposition gets better, grows muscles, and a nasty streak. He tries to cheat, and fool us by throwing different pitches. He tries to deceive us. And he has a nasty curve.

So how do we hit his curve, his split finger, or his dancing knuckleball? We have to start with the basics.

We need to follow the formula for success, and practice and practice, and practice. We do this by being close to the Lord, His spirit, and follow and live His teachings. As we do so, we become familiar with it, and recognize when He is influencing us, when He is speaking through His prophets, and most importantly, we begin to recognize the curveball. We see it coming, we are prepared for it, and we can hit it.

The basic fundamentals of the gospel are as simple as keeping our eyes on the ball. Its being in the scriptures, praying, and genuinely wanting to be like our Savior. If we do that, we will be ready for the curve, because we will see and recognize it.

And the curves are coming. Today, a lot of people, even within the gospel, are having a hard time with some of the curveballs coming from the opposition. The society norms are being passed off as good, and touted as progress, but in reality are in direct opposition to the gospel truths taught by the Lord and His prophets. The best curveballs look just like a fastball until the last second when the bottom falls out, but then, its too late, because we’ve already started to swing.

If we start young or old, it doesn’t matter, we need to keep our eyes on the ball, and practice, practice, practice. If we do, and listen to, and follow the advise, council, and teachings of the living prophets and apostles (best 15 coaches you could ask for), we will be prepared for, and recognize the curves when then come. It is the 9th inning after all, and the game is coming to an end, and we need to really decide….whose team are we on?

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Tradeshow Discernment

23 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by in Discernment, General

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The company I work for offers PSM software and services.  That won’t mean much to any of you, so here is a brief description of PSM (please don’t go to sleep): it stands for Process Safety Management.  It is a single regulation found in the massive OSHA Code of Federal Regulations (29 CFR 1910.119).  It requires companies that store or use hazardous chemicals to comply with a number of different elements in order to protect worker safety, maintain the integrity of the actual process (piping, etc.) and continually ensure that updates, changes, and additions are done appropriately.  Within this single regulation, there are 14 elements, each of which integrate and overlap each other (on purpose) so that the overall chemical process is kept up to date.  Some of these elements include employee participation (the need for everyone to be involved and on the same page), process safety information (technical information related to the process, calculations, drawings, etc.), operating procedures, management of change, incident investigation, emergency response planning, major studies and analysis, and at the end of the day, it really is quite a bit of work that is required of each plant location to comply with the regulations.  On top of this OSHA retains the right to show up at any time (to any location) and perform an inspection to verify compliance with this regulation.  If any deficiencies are found, there could be citations, notices of violation, and potentially forced closure.

The point of our software is to capture the work that any one plant or group of plants has already done to address this regulation, process and analyze that data, provide the individuals with email notifications to address upcoming and overdue tasks, notices and/or approvals, track recommendations to closure, and manage any and all changes properly so that the various elements truly work together in a way that is efficient and effective.  Simple right?  We certainly think so.

This regulation has been in place for over 20 years, but the majority of plants that we deal with, still struggle to meet the intent of this regulation.  There are some plants that don’t really try at all – they just try to avoid being inspected by OSHA, and look exhaustively for any way possible to be exempt or hide from the regulations.  There are others who give a fair effort and do some of the basics, expecting OSHA to  ‘justify them in committing a little non-compliance’, thinking ‘there is no harm in this’, and only ‘beat them with a few stripes’ and ultimately extend leniency in the event of an inspection (see 2 Ne. 28:8).  There are companies who try pretty hard, but are limited in their resources, so they never really meet the standard, and then there are still others (the vast minority) who make it a top priority and don’t settle for anything less than the best that they can do.  To be fair (and honest) the majority of those who are honestly trying may be motivated by fear (hefty fine or even worse nowadays is bad publicity) more than the motivation to be the best that they can be and just do what is right, but there are a few who are motivated for the right reasons.

Since I am in the thick of an annual conference where PSM is a factor, this divisive topic brings up the following question to most of the attendees (at least where I am concerned); “what kind of feelings are stirred up within us when we hear the word PSM?”  Imagine with me for a moment, the interactions that I get to see daily when I am representing my company at this industry trade show.  The name of my company (APSM), and our slogan (PSM Software and Services) is displayed on our booth and scores of the end users walk by and silently answer that question based on their reaction to just reading my sign.  It breaks down to something like this…

75% pretend that my booth doesn’t exist.  They see the word PSM and they feign ignorance or disinterest (some might even actually become angry inside).

10% view the booth, see what we offer and actually move further away from me.

10% see my booth and our literature, watch the looping PowerPoint slide for a moment, and appear to be somewhat interested, only to then meander away avoiding eye contact at all cost hoping that I don’t speak to them.

5% read the slogan, watch the PPT, start to look at the brochures that explain our product, and think to themselves; ‘this software is totally awesome and could really help me in my ongoing quest to keep up with my PSM program’. 1

The reasons as to why the 95% don’t express any interest at all in our product are likely many – but here are a few possible explanations…

  1. They see the words PSM and ‘fear exceedingly’ because they know that their existing PSM program is in horrible shape – but them even considering talking to me (or us) would be an acknowledgement of their failure in that regard.So, they stay away from help, not realizing that by staying away from help (my company, our software) they actually are making things increasingly worse as time goes on.  Ignoring the problem doesn’t seem to fix it.  Then, in a panic they call us when they get audited by OSHA and ask for a miracle….
  2. They see the words PSM and don’t worry because they have been ‘pacified or lulled away into PSM security’ by someone who has little to no actualPSM knowledge.  These are they who actually think that their 3rd grade PSM program is good enough to stand up against OSHA’s inspection criteria.  These are they who were ‘flattered away’ by the cunning and false words of others.
  3. They see the words PSM, and are at least semi-interested.They watch the video thinking to themselves – “I should probably know about the things that this slideshow is outlining, and I should probably investigate this product to see if, what, and how it can help me” only to then reach a point where it seems to require too much of their time and attention and reach one of two conclusions 1) someone else has probably taken care of it, or 2) that’s a good product for others, but it would never work for me (budget reasons, more work than I want to think about, etc.).
  4. They see the words PSM and avoid us because they already have a PSM vendor (or even worse another PSM software product).They see us and yell in their minds “PSM software!  PSM software!  We have got a PSM software and there cannot be any more PSM software vendors!” This is a difficult customer to talk to because they are completely against anything that would upset this thought – no matter what we try.2

On the positive side, there are the 5% that are interested, ask good questions, take my business card and a brochure with real intent.  Of those 5%, maybe 1% will respond to follow up and actually progress past the tradeshow – in order to see if our product really could help them, and these are the ones we like to talk with anyway.  Even though only 1% will really progress, we still applaud them for pursuing the idea of betterment.

There is yet another category of conference-goer that I have not included in the percentage breakdown, and they are existing clients (or clients that have progressed from interested conference-goer or software product investigator to existing client at some point in the past).  These clients come over confidently, we greet each other by name, and then we proceed to discuss how much the software has helped them over the months or years.  They invariably indicate how much they’ve learned, how many things have improved, and how much of a difference it really has made.  Sometimes this even bleeds into a discussion of what exciting changes are coming to the software in the future.  Without fail the more the software is utilized by an individual or a plant, the more successful the PSM program and that company have been.  If the software product is unused and/or misunderstood it will quickly be tossed out and forgotten.

That’s great Tyson, but what does PSM have to do with anything?  I was bored 10 minutes ago.

A few weeks ago in Elder’s quorum, we had a lesson on repentance and the first question the instructor asked was “what kind of feelings are stirred up within us when we hear the word repentance?”   It was an interesting question, and the answer is different for each of us as it is directly related to the level of our individual confidence ‘in the presence of God’ (see D&C 121:45) and our current need for repentance.  If the word repentance immediately forms beads of sweat on our brow, and brings on visions of Spencer W. Kimball’s book (you know the one I’m talking about) we may naturally have some panic at the mere word – but, if we are honestly striving to do our best, and have repeatedly and humbly embraced repentance  – we will have a different, much sweeter reaction to it.3

In other words, how we respond to the word repentance is the same to how my conference-goers respond to the sign PSM Software and Services at my booth.

Do I see or hear the word repentance and ‘fear exceedingly’ because I know that my existing repentance program is in horrible shape – and by thinking about it I acknowledge my deep failure in that regard?  Do I then stay away from help and true repentance, not realizing that by staying away from help (bishop, family, the Lord) I am actually making things increasingly worse as time goes on.  Ignoring repentance (or guilt which is the natural encouragement the spirit gives us to repent) will not make it’s necessity go away and problems can’t get fixed until they are identified and acknowledged (as problems).

Do I see/hear the word repentance but not worry because I have been ‘pacified or lulled away into carnal security’ by someone who has little to no real repentance knowledge.  These are they who think that 3rd grade repentance program is good enough to stand up against God’s inspection criteria.  These are they who were ‘flattered away’ by the cunning or completely wrong advice of others or our own rationalization or justifications.

Do I see/hear the word repentance and act semi-interested?  Do I think to myself – “I should probably know more about the things that this class/instructor/book is outlining, and I should probably investigate this topic to see what and how it can help me” only to then reach a point where it seems to require too much of my time and attention and reach one of two conclusions 1) someday later I will probably take care of it, or 2) that’s a good idea in theory, but it would never actually work for me (personal reasons, family wouldn’t approve, more work than I want to think about, I’ve done too much wrong, etc.)

Do I see/hear the word repentance and avoid it because I already repented?  Do I yell in my mind “repentance!  repentance!  We have repented and there cannot be any more repentance!”

On the positive side, if we find ourselves in the percentage that is continually interested in repentance, and we are currently asking good questions, let’s take it to the next step and get a business card and a brochure.  Then, let’s continue to be the 1% that will actually respond or even initiate some follow up and actually progress the sale past the tradeshow – in order to see if repentance really can help us.  Even though that progress might be slow, tedious, and potentially painful.  Remember, we can’t know real joy or peace unless we know real misery and turmoil.

Then, we can count ourselves a part of the category of conference/church-goer that was not included in the percentage breakdown, (let us be existing and continuous repentance clients).  Then we (as existing repentance clients) can come over to the Lords booth confidently, He will greet us by name, and then we can proceed to discuss how much repentance has helped us over the years.  We can invariably tell him how much we’ve learned, how many things have improved in our lives, and how much of a difference it really has made – somehow much more than we ever thought it could.  Without fail, the more repentance is utilized, the more successful the life program and that person will be.  If however, the repentance process (just like PSM software) is unused and/or misunderstood it will quickly be ignored and forgotten.

Notes

1 You may ask how I came to arrive at these very scientific numbers and/or percentages, and there is no answer.  I have no scientific studies, data, charts, or even lists to substantiate the percentile claims in this blog post, but they are correct.  I just know.  I liken this to how your bishop and/or other priesthood leaders or your parents just know if/when you’re lying about worthiness or preparation or tithing or anything else important.  I have been doing this job for 8 years now and have attended over 30 tradeshows and every single one of them has the same people who give me the same runaround.  I am not fooled.  I have developed the talent of PSM discernment (a coveted gift in the pre-existence to be sure).  I know very easily when our software solution could help someone.  I know how much it could help them, and I know how thankful they would be for it IF they just listened to me and implemented it.  Fathers and mothers feel this way about their children when they give them advice and the same fathers and mothers are not fooled when their children try and tell them that they brush their teeth every night before bed.  We just know better.

2 I have (on many occasions) had to explain to people that there is more than 1 software provider out there, and just because you have one PSM software in use at your company doesn’t mean you have the best one, or even a good one at all.  They should know that ‘there are more softwares than one’….and they should not ‘murmur because that ye shall receive more of my software [help].  They need not suppose that their software contains all the requirements for PSM; neither need they suppose [that He hath not] caused more to be written’ (see 2 Ne.29:6-12).

3 See ‘Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence’ by Elder Jorg Klebingat of the Seventy from the October 2014 Conference.  It is amazing.